Greetings fellow Bizarros:
You want to talk about lucky? Two vehicles in Grand Junction,
Colorado were involved in a collision and by bizarre coinci-
dence all six of the passengers in the two vehicles survived
the accident. Why bizarre, you ask. Because the two vehicles
were planes.
The midair accident involved a Mesa County Sheriff’s Office
plane carrying four people, including two prisoners, and two
men in a second aircraft.
“It’s very miraculous,” Barbara Chappell, an assistant at
the Mesa County Sheriff’s Office said.
The sheriff’s plane flew back to the Grand Junction Regional
Airport, while the second aircraft landed upside down in a
field 14 miles southeast of the airport.
Officials hadn’t given a cause for the accident.
“All of a sudden, there was a plane right in front of us,”
said John Haefeli, who was in the second plane being flown
by his son.
He said his son tried to turn the plane’s nose down but the
sheriff’s plane sheared off a section of their tail.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
————————————————————
+————— Bizarre Political Insults —————-+
“He makes George Bush seem like a personality”
- Jackie Mason on John Major.
“He is a sheep in sheep’s clothing”
- Winston Churchill on Clement Attlee.
“Winston, if I were your wife, I would put poison in your
coffee.” “Nancy, if I were your husband, I would drink it.”
- A conversation between Nancy Astor and Winston Churchill.
“He could not see a belt without hitting below it.”
- Margot Asquith on David Lloyd George.
“Richard Nixon impeached himself. He gave us Gerald Ford as
his revenge.”
- U.S. politician Bella Abzug on Tricky Dickie.
“Nixon’s motto was, ‘If two wrongs don’t make a right, try
three.”
- U.S. writer Norman Cousins.
“Gerry Ford is so dumb that he can’t fart and chew gum at
the same time.”
- former U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson.
“I wouldn’t say she is open-minded on the Middle East, so
much as empty-headed. She probably thinks Sinai is the
plural of sinus.”
- Jonathan Aitken on Margaret Hatcher.
“A shiver looking for a spine to run up.”
- Harold Wilson on Edward Heath.
***
———– Leopard tattoo man moves from hut ————
KYLEAKIN, Scotland – A 73-year-old British man who once
held the title of world’s most-tattooed man says he has
moved from a remote Scottish coastline because he’s getting
too old. Tom Leppard, an ex-special forces soldier whose
entire body is covered in leopard-spot tattoos, had for
years lived in a rustic hut on the Isle of Skye but has
moved because he couldn’t handle the three-mile canoe trip
to the nearest town anymore, The Daily Telegraph reported
Monday. “I was perfectly happy in the (hut) but I’m like
everyone else — I’m getting too old for that kind of
life,” Leppard told the newspaper. “I had to canoe to
(Kyleakin, Scotland) once a week for shopping and it was
getting too hard for me — I was one big wave away from
disaster. It’s a pretty nasty stretch of water.” The
Telegraph said Leppard, who held the tattoo record until
overtaken recently by a New Zealand man, has moved to a
retirement home, but didn’t indicate where.
————————————————————
LEATHER PASSPORT HOLDER (Black)
Great For So Many Things…
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This incredibly soft black leather passport holder has
the Great Seal of The United States, plus “Passport” and
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will this holder hold your passport, it has pockets on
the inside for holding driver’s licenses, credit cards or
business cards. Measuring 5 1/4 inches by 4 inches, it
fits any official US passport.
Let’s face it, when traveling abroad there is no more
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This Black Leather Passport Holder keeps your passport and
documents safe when traveling to any country.
Just think how awful it would be if you spilled something
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difficulty you’ll face trying to replace your passport is
something you’re better off not knowing!
Grab one or two… they’re great for so many things.
Visit: LEATHER PASSPORT HOLDER (Black)
————————————————————
———- Underwear-clad man ignites fireworks ———–
MOUNT ISA, Australia – Authorities in Mount Isa, Australia,
said a man was arrested after he allegedly ran down the
street in his underwear with firecrackers strapped to
his head. Mount Isa Superintendent Les Hopkins said the
22-year-old man allegedly ran up and down Camooweal Street
in the city center wearing only his underwear and a bicycle
helmet with detonating firecrackers bound to it, The
(Brisbane, Australia) Courier-Mail reported Monday. “He was
running close to one of our main roads, where the big road
trains travel,” Hopkins said. “It could have been quite
tragic.” The man was charged with possession of fireworks
and being a public nuisance. He was released after posting
bail.
————- Unusual laws in central Ohio —————
BEXLEY, Ohio – Experts say the suburbs of Columbus, Ohio,
have some unusual laws still on the books, including laws
banning the feeding of grackles and clinging to trains.
Officials said the suburb of Bexley has a law against
feeding a flock of grackles, while New Albany bans putting
laxative in someone else’s food, Hillard bars clinging to
the side of locomotives and Grove City outlaws growing a
wild-carrot or white-top-daisy patch, The Columbus Dispatch
reported. “The code book is very interesting because of
when the codes were put into effect,” Bexley City Attorney
Lou Chodosh said of his city’s ban on feeding the specific
variety of bird. “Many of (Bexley’s) laws involving begging
go back to the 1930s. It’s all a matter of history and the
context of when it was done. “Quite honestly, some of these
get passed because an individual has a concern, and council
says, ‘Sure, we’ll pass that,’ not thinking it will be on
the books forever, though it doesn’t have to be,” Chodosh
said. Chodesh said Bexley passed four ordinances in 1940
that are still in effect that dictated allowed behavior
in bars. However, the city currently does not contain any
bars.
————————————————————
GIANT 600 Cartoons Special Collector’s DVD Tin
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DVD FEATURES/EXTRAS:
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a host of Classic Cartoon Characters (Betty Boop, Popeye,
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To watch a video clip from one of the cartoons, visit:
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————————————————————
———— Britain has more rats than people ————-
LONDON – Pest control experts say population figures
indicate there are more rats living in Britain than people.
The pest control company Rentokil estimates there are as
many as 80 million rats in the United Kingdom, which has
a human population of 60 million, The Times of London
reported Monday. Nationwide, calls to pest control units
in Britain have risen by 17 percent, the newspaper says.
Figures show the city of York in the north of England tops
the list of problem towns with a yearly increase of 208
percent in its rat population, Others with a significant
increase in rats are Carlisle, Exeter and Salford. Director
Peter Crowden of the National Pest Technicians Association
warns there will be an epidemic unless citizens reduce
food waste. Many local councils in Britain have reduced
garbage collections to every other week instead of weekly.
“Fortnightly bin collections now mean it’s vital we
recycle,” said Crowden. “Just putting extra food scraps
on compost heaps means fantastic breeding grounds for
rats to spread disease.”
————————————————————
DIGGI-BANK: The Digital Coin Bank Plus More
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Here’s one of those items that everyone loves and everyone
wants. It’s the Diggi-Bank w/ Alarm Clock & FM Radio.
This very cool item keeps a running count of the change you
put in it. Deposit a quarter, dime and nickel and the LCD
display will tell you have 40 cents. The next time you
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previous balance. So now you know EXACTLY how much is in
your rainy day piggy bank.
What sets this item apart from anything else in the market
is the fact that it is an alarm clock and FM radio. Plus
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these make EXCELLENT GIFTS. Get one for $24.99 or get two
for $39.98, that’s less than the normal retail price of
one. DIGGI-BANK: The Digital Coin Bank Plus More
————————————————————
Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here…F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored
————————————————————
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Lewis, like most outsiders this guy can’t get the Alaska
facts or jokes straight. The joke is three things. Drink
a 5th of whisky, make love to an Eskimo and shoot a polar
bear. The rest is the pretty much correct. Not too long
ago, two Anchorage DJ’s were suspended for a week or two
and made to take sensitivity training, apologize etc. for
telling that joke. It seems Eskimo women no longer think
it is funny. Also Sara is not an Alaskan Native. We are
not best buds, but Sara and I are acquainted. -Roger
[Please tell her Lewis says, 'Hey.']
Why would it be illegal to pretend to have sex with a
buffalo in an Oklamhoman bar? I guess their women don’t
want the competition -CT
[Apparently neither do Eskimo women.]
Why is it that every president can raise millions for campaign
funding but can’t do the same for the national deficit? Now
that is the guy I would vote for! –Marie
[Well, millions wouldn't even chip the paint on the national
deficit. Plus, even if you could raise a few trillion dollars
it would only be a stop-gap solution. It's a budget problem.
But I like the way you think.]
I hate to say this, Lewis, but I’m finding your stories less
and less bizarre. I refer especially to all the items about
stupid criminals and people caught indulging unusual sexual
fetishes, which have become almost commonplace. I’m afraid
the internet has raised the bar for what I and most people
would now consider truly “bizarre.” –Peter
[I'll try to find some Siamese midgets or something for you.]
Hey Lewis, I am guessing the naked bartender had a special
on “Sex on the Beach” shooters… DC Madam
[I don't think you would want to have sex on any beaches
along the Missouri River (where Alton is located) unless
you get off on screwing in industrial and agricultural
runoff.]
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