Greetings fellow Bizarros:

I don’t know who I’m more disgusted by in this story, the
woman who scammed two dumb-asses (or should I say flat-
asses) out of hundreds of dollars in order to give them ass
injections, or the two desperate social rejects who actually
went to a private home to have cosmetic medical injections
by an unlicensed amateur.

Sheriff’s deputies are seeking Sharhonda L. Lindsay, 32,
of Tampa, Florida who they say was not licensed when she
illegally injected silicone and saline into two women’s
buttocks.

Lindsay met the women, Andrea Nicole Lee, 30, and Zakiya
Thema Teagle, 33, at Lee’s home in Tampa, where the victims
agreed to pay Lindsay to inject them with Hydrogel and saline
solution.

Lee paid $500 for 40 injections, and Teagle paid $250 for 20
injections.

After Lindsay left the victims experienced pain and discom-
fort, and were taken to Town & Country Hospital for internal
injuries, where they remain. Lee is in serious condition,
while Teagle is stable.

Lindsay is wanted on two counts of practicing medicine without
a license.

Listen, if any desperate young women want an injection in the
butt, let me know. I might be able to help you.

Bizarrely,

Lewis

————————————————————

+————– Bizarre Newspaper Headlines —————+

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Safety Expert Says School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Farmer Bill Dies in House

Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarians Take Over

Eye Drops Off Shelf

Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

Stolen Painting Found By Tree

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved Ones

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

New Study of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

***

———– Man: Intruder cooked and ate steak ————-

PEORIA, Ill. – A Peoria, Ill., man told police a home
intruder had apparently cooked and eaten a steak at his
home while he was away. The homeowner told police he
returned home at about 9:45 p.m. Saturday after being
gone since 11 a.m. and found a window broken, the Peoria
Journal Star reported. Police reports said the man was
unable to find anything missing from his home until he
looked in the kitchen and discovered a $6 steak that he
had been defrosting was missing. The man said the intruder
had left dirty dishes in the sink, a dirty skillet on the
stove and used paper towels on the counter.

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——— Man gets 50 traffic tickets after chase ———-

BOYTON BEACH, Fla. – Police in Florida said a man was
issued 50 traffic citations after he led officers from
two cities in a chase that ended when he crashed his
vehicle. Authorities said Elvis Alonzo Barrett, 46, whose
driver’s license has been revoked six times and suspended
28 times, refused to pull over in Boynton Beach when a
police officer attempted to stop him, and led police in
the city and in nearly Delray Beach on a chase that
included driving the wrong way on an Interstate 95 ramp
before crashing into another car at an intersection and
losing control of his vehicle, the South Florida Sun-
Sentinel reported. Barrett’s sport utility vehicle over-
turned and came to rest after striking a fence, police
said. Boynton Beach police said Barrett was charged with
fleeing and eluding, reckless driving, felony habitual,
possession of cocaine, possession of paraphernalia and
leaving the scene of a crash involving damage after
Thursday’s incident. He also received 50 traffic citations
for alleged offenses including speeding, running red
lights, improper change of lanes, being a habitual traffic
offender, fleeing and eluding and not wearing a seat belt.
Barrett could face additional charges from Delray Beach
police, authorities said.

————- Canadian woman offers free hugs ————–

TORONTO – A 26-year-old Canadian woman says she is offer-
ing free hugs for the third year in a row on the streets
of Toronto. “Some people will walk by smiling and other
people will come running because they love the hugs,” said
Tanya Neumeyer, who took to the streets Sunday with her
older brother Ian in tow. The Neumeyers and a few friends
carried large signs saying “Free Hugs,” which startled some
passersby and comforted others, The Toronto Star reported.
“It makes your day. More people should be hugging,” said
Louise Collins, 54. Tanya Neumeyer said she was inspired
by the group We Are What We Do and the group’s book “Change
the World for Ten Bucks: 50 Actions to Change the World.”
As for offering hugs in February, Neumeyer said it may be
the shortest month but it seems like “the longest part of
winter” so more people need hugging.

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———— Thai man, 88, earns law degree —————

NONTHABURI, Thailand – An 88-year-old man affectionately
known as Grandfather by those who know him says he is
pleased to have earned a law degree in Thailand. The
Bangkok Post said Monday that Sa-nguan Sunthornwong
graduated from Sukhothai Thammathirat Open University with
a degree in law after 12 years of classes. But Sunthornwong
insists he has no plans to rest following his recent
private graduation ceremony. “It’s not over,” the senior
law school graduate said. “I will continue studying until
the end of my days.” Sunthornwong’s determination comes
despite the fact the university’s oldest graduate was
forced to miss the Jan. 23 graduation ceremony for his
graduating class. The 88-year-old had been unable to walk
or speak, forcing him to be hospitalized for 39 days.
Nonetheless, Sunthornwong told the Post he is now consider-
ing obtaining a master’s degree to go with his law degree.

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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here…F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored

————————————————————

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Dear Martha’s boyfriend and Lewis, be advised that there is
a subliminal hex in wedding vows and that the kinky stuff
somehow magically ends when two couples say ‘I do’ -Lance
[As long as there was no kinky stuff to begin with they have
nothing to worry about.]

That is the most mixed up history of the Knights Templar that
I have ever read. You don’t always let the facts get in the
way of your story. -Edwin
[Nope. Never did.]

Hey Lewis, Actually, the 82 degrees on a Florida beach isn’t
global warming so much as Florida weather. We live in the
Tallahassee area – in the panhandle – and I kid you not, last
week we had a low of 18 degrees and a high of 70! This is
winter in the Sunshine State (although I will grant you that
the extremes seem to be more extreme these days). -Louise
[All the way up in the panhandle? Why, you're practically a
northerner.]

Having read Bizaare so long I have come to the conclusion that
when they lock me up in a funny farm that I will be able to
gain my release by showing them many copies of Bizarre that I
have saved – Thanks, Pat
[You save copies of Bizarre News? What a sweetheart! You don't
use them for the same reason old farmers used to use the pages
of the Sears catalog, do you?]

Cass said if the government were to make lipo free then all
that fat could be sold to make bio-fuel. Don’t forget, if
the government were to get involved, the fat would have to
meet quality control standards and other restrictions before
it could be used and that would make the fuel too expensive
to make. -Samwise
[Why are you messing with the fantasy? We know about the
reality, don't ruin the fantasy.]

—————— END OF READER COMMENTS ——————

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