Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Nobody really wins in this story, but the lesson to come
away with is never insult a man’s girlfriend’s mother when
you’re drinking in a pub in Ireland…unless, of course,
you either want to get your hand chopped off or get punched
in the face with a bloody stub.

28-year-old Charles Russell of Dublin was remanded in custody
pending sentence after pleading guilty to recklessly causing
Peter Rogers serious harm at The Deputy Mayor Pub.

Apparently Rogers had said something insulting to Russell’s
girlfriend’s mother which led to the attack.

The detective in charge said that Mr. Rogers had been in the
pub with a number of friends that day when he heard someone
shout, “there’s the c**t” before he was struck from behind
with a hammer. This blow came from Russell’s friend who was
then wrestled away by bar staff.

Russell then stepped up and swung a samurai sword at Rogers,
severing his hand. The victim later reported that he did not
notice that he lost his hand, which must have been due to
shock or the 15 pints of Guinness he had been drinking.

Rogers struggled with Russell and at one stage punched the
accused in the face with the stump of his arm. He was finally
restrained by the bar manager but managed to escape and fled
the scene.

A customer picked up the hand and placed it in ice. The victim
was taken to the hospital where he underwent emergency surgery
to re-attach his hand. Ta da!

Bizarrely,

Lewis

————————————————————

+—————– Bizarre Book Titles ——————-+

How to Avoid Huge Ships by John W. Trimmer

Scouts in Bondage by Michael Bell

Be Bold with Bananas by Crescent Books

Fancy Coffins to Make Yourself by Dale L. Power

The Flat-Footed Flies of Europe by Peter J. Chandler

101 Uses for an Old Farm Tractor by Michael Dregni

Across Europe by Kangaroo by Joseph R. Barry

101 Super Uses for Tampon Applicators by Lori Katz and
Barbara Meyer

[HowStuffWorks, Inc.]

***

——– KFC set to fill up potholes and stomachs ———

LOUISVILLE, Ky. – Kentucky Fried Chicken says it will move
beyond filling up patrons’ stomachs, by providing pothole
repair for residents of Louisville, Ky. The fast-food chain
has offered to fill up potholes throughout Louisville in
return for the right to stamp the newly repaired road
hazards with the stencil slogan, “Re-freshed by KFC,”
Advertising Age reported. “This program is a perfect
example of that rare and optimal occurrence when a company
can creatively market itself and help local governments
and everyday Americans across the country,” said Javier
Benito, KFC executive vice president of marketing and food
innovation. Louisville Mayor Jerry Abramson appeared ready
to support the KFC proposal given the budgetary constraints
facing many U.S. cities. “It’s great to have a concerned
corporation like KFC create innovative private/public
partnerships like this pothole refresh program,” the mayor
said in a statement.

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——— Police say fingernails gave away robber ———-

CHELSEA, Mass. – Police in Chelsea, Mass., say a bank
robbery suspect was apprehended after being identified by
her orange fingernail polish. A witness said the woman
who made off with $450 in cash from the Sovereign Bank
Wednesday had nails coated with a bright burnt orange
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their suspect. After tracing the license plate and locating
the accompanying vehicle, police found their suspect,
Margaret Christie, and her flashy fingernails, the Globe
said.

———- Geographers map 7 deadly sins in U.S. ———–

LAS VEGAS – Geographers have mapped the sinfulness of the
United States, attempting to come up with numbers for each
of the seven deadly sins. Thomas Vought and colleagues
at Kansas State University devised indexes for sloth,
gluttony, lust, greed, wrath, envy and pride, The Las Vegas
Sun reported. Sloth was based on spending per capita on
arts and entertainment compared to the employment rate;
gluttony on fast-food outlets per capita; lust on rates of
sexually transmitted disease; greed on average incomes
compared to the number of people living below the poverty
line; wrath on violent crimes per capita; and envy on
property crimes. The researchers decided that pride is the
master sin and therefore merged the rates of the lesser
sins. Vought presented the findings at the American
Geographers’ meeting Tuesday in Las Vegas, a city some-
times regarded as the sin capital of the United States.
The researchers said the Las Vegas area, Clark County,
beats the rest of Nevada in most sins but ranks third
behind southern gambling centers like Biloxi, Miss., in
pride.

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————- Tennessee could ban saggy pants ————-

NASHVILLE – A bill that would ban low-riding trousers that
expose the wearer’s boxers or briefs in the state of
Tennessee has won approval from a legislative subcommittee.
House Bill 2099, known as the “Saggy Pants Bill,” would
impose fines of up to $1,000 on violators, The Memphis
Commercial Appeal reported. The money would be dedicated
to the purchase of school supplies, including books and
sports equipment. Rep. Karen Camper, a Democrat from
Memphis, accused her colleagues, including Rep. Joe Towns,
a Memphis Democrat who sponsored the bill, of “trying to
legislate fashion.” She said teens would get misdemeanor
records needlessly. “My question to you Mr. Towns is:
What is the demographics you are targeting with this
legislation?” she asked. Towns responded angrily that white
and Hispanic teens as well as blacks have been known to
expose their underwear. “It has nothing to do with
fashion,” he said. “It has to do with decency and hygiene.”
The bill, approved by subcommittee Wednesday, now goes to
the House Judiciary Committee.

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————————————————————

Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here…F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored

————————————————————

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Actually, the problem is this question: Why are we giving
OUR money to ANY bank so that they can LOAN it BACK to US
at INTEREST? Me GIVING you a dime so that you can LOAN me
a dime and then me “re-paying” your dime plus a penny seems
VERY foolish to me. And yet, that is exactly what we’re
doing with these “bailouts”! -Tom
[Good point. The only people getting screwed here is the
American tax-payer!]

Lewis, this woman must be a saint to care this much for her
horse – most people would’ve just put the poor animal out
of its misery. A lot of pet owners – myself included – will
spend hundreds of dollars trying to save a beloved pet, but
think how much daily effort and money she must be investing.
Or she may be independently wealthy… and have lackeys…
never mind. yours in bizarreness, Gretchen
[Another thing to consider is that you can sell horse meat.
You can't do that with a dog.]

Hi Lewis, As a former resident of UT, I am familiar with
their liquor laws. The membership fees are a hassle and an
annoyance, but not bad enough that people will leave the
state just to go to the bar. People do cross state lines
to buy booze for home consumption. Sometimes, you just want
“real” beer. (The state liquor stores do have beer that is
stronger than 3.2 percent) Best, Kyle
[They won't be dealing with that any longer. So much for the
boot-legging industry in Utah.]

In regard’s to Lance’s comment “$12 a year for a membership?
Driving to Colorado to avoid paying the membership fee?
Who’s the fool here?” We are talking about a state who’s
top industry is tourism. I skiied Utah once, it was awesome,
but the difficulty in having a varied nightlife due to their
insane laws makes me choose Colorado for future destinations.
-Tim

—————— END OF READER COMMENTS ——————