Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Whoever said young people aren’t industrious any more? Take
this young go-getter for example. Police in New Jersey said
a man tricked patrons at two restaurants into giving him a
total of $186 by pretending to be a waiter.

Investigators said a man in his 20s with a spiky hair style
approached two women dining at Hobson’s Choice restaurant
in Hoboken and accepted their $90 cash payment for their
meal.

The man was next spotted at Margherita’s Pizza and Cafe at
about 9 p.m. the same day and asked three women at a table
if they were ready to pay.

“He took the money from them and walked straight out of the
restaurant,” said Anthony Buzzerio, the restaurant manager.

Buzzerio said the restaurant was forced to comp the women’s
bill.

“Once we saw that they had put the money on the table — we
wouldn’t charge the customers twice,” he said.

“This is the first time I’ve come across something like this,”
Buzzerio said. “Hopefully he gets what’s coming to him.”

Well, he got nearly 200 bucks coming to him. That’s not bad
for having some balls.

Bizarrely,

Lewis

————————————————————

+—————– Bizarre Sports Quotes —————–+

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
“I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I
want all the kids to copulate me.”

And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the ‘Skins say: “I’d run
over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,” Matt Millen of
the Raiders said: “To win, I’d run over Joe’s Mom, too.”

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: “You guys
line up alphabetically by height.” And “You guys pair up
in groups of three, then line up in a circle.”

Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints General Manager, when asked
after a loss what he thought of the refs: “I’m not allowed
to comment on lousy no good officiating.”

Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision
not to vote: “I was going to write myself in, but I was
afraid I’d get shot.”

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: “I
told him, ‘Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or
apathy?’ He said, “Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.”

Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach,
John Jenkins: “He treats us like men. He lets us wear
earrings.”

And the Gem: Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob
Costas why he takes his wife on all road trips, Phillips
responded: “Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye.”

***

——– Wrong turn: Scooter flagged on 70 mph road ——–

CHERITON, England – British police said an 89-year-old
man took a wrong turn on his mobility scooter and wound
up on a 70 mph motorway. Officers said they took the man
home Tuesday after maintenance workers found him traveling
8 mph on the shoulder of the M20 in Cheriton, England,
the Daily Mail reported. “I could not believe it when I
saw him casually driving towards us. It was frightening,
but when we stopped him he was determined to carry on
along the M20,” said a maintenance worker who asked not
to be named. “He said he had been shopping in Cheriton,
but mistakenly taken the wrong junction and ended up on
the motorway.”

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———- Realtor offers free divorce with home ———–

HUELVA, Spain – A Spanish real estate company is offering
a free divorce lawyer as an incentive to couples who
purchase three-bedroom homes in Huelva province. Officials
with Geimsa realtors said the deal is aimed at couples who
have been postponing divorce because they can’t afford new
homes, Britain’s The Daily Telegraph reported. “A divorce
is very expensive,” said Vanesa Contioso of Geimsa. “So we
are offering new clients the free use of our lawyers to
handle the process.” The deal applies to married couples
who purchase three-bedroom homes for at least $89,000 in
Huelva province.

——- Italian town to have graveyard Web cam ——–

POLLICA, Italy – The Italian town of Pollica will soon
offer Web cam services that enable people worldwide to
check on the graves of their loved ones, Mayor Angelo
Vassallo said. Vassallo said because of numerous requests
from tourists to be buried in the southern Italian town,
the decision was made to sell tombs equipped with video
and audio equipment, the Italian news agency, ANSA,
reported Thursday. The mayor said the technology will
include a camera that pans the town’s graveyard while
offering glimpses into the area’s scenery. “We’ve decided
to sell 150 tombs and, what’s more, give them the long-
distance technology needed for distant relatives to
commune with their dear departed,” the mayor said. “A
Web cam will be operational ’round the clock and there’ll
also be a new sound system to give them a feel of the
meditative atmosphere.”

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———— Couple wed as ‘Shrek’ characters ————-

BARNSTAPLE, England – A British couple said they spent
three hours in makeup before their wedding so they could
walk down the aisle as characters from the “Shrek” films.
Christine England, 40, and Keith Green, 44, of Barnstaple,
England, used green paint and costumes to turn themselves
into Princess Fiona and Shrek while guests at the wedding
dressed as other characters from the animated films,
including Donkey and the Gingerbread Man, the Daily Mail
reported Thursday. “Every girl wants a fairytale wedding
and I got one — with a bit of a twist. It was a real
laugh,” England said. “The idea just came to me. I knew
what we would go as them because Keith looks just like
Shrek.” The couple said they hired a makeup artist to
design their wedding getup. “It was a very strange
experience to say the least, but a thoroughly enjoyable
one. We love the films and my wife tells me I have
resemblance to Shrek,” Green said.

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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here…F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored

————————————————————

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

The Bromsgrove, England woman who complained about her
neighbor’s naked lawn gnomes would never survive in Oslo,
Norway. There are statues of naked people all over Oslo.
–Harold
[I'd be more impressed if there were just naked people
all over Oslo. I happen to think Norwegian women are hot.]

The Extreme Hand Boxing was unimaginable stupidity. I bet
they were brain dead before they even started.

Lewis: The woman in England needs to get 2 more gnome
statues. The one of the male and female nude gnomes having
sex, and the one of the gnome standing there giving the
finger. (That one should be pointed at the pain in the ass
neighbor’s house.) Besides, kids are like most of us and
think garden gnomes are kind of ugly, and ignore them.
(yes both statues are available.) -Bill
[Hey! There's a difference between art and porn...I'm just
not sure what it is. But there's a difference!]

Lewis, yes I had an “office” romance 26 1/2 years ago, and
we recently celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. They
don’t all work out this way, but, I figure if you start
dating someone that you’ve worked with for awhile, at least
you know they don’t mind working and contributing to the
financial side of a marraige. -Bob
[That is as good a basis to start a relationship on as any,
I guess.]

I have been a Bizarre News subscriber for many years. It
was always a bright spot in my inbox at the office. I retired
at the end of 2008 so now I get BN at home. The first thing
I did upon retiring was get thyroid cancer. While recovering
from surgery (successful, thank you very much) I still look
forward to my regular dose of BN. Keep the good times comin’
and thanks for all the laughs. You do make a difference.
-Jim d.
[Thank you, Jim. Stay subscribed and stay healthy!]

—————— END OF READER COMMENTS ——————