Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Here is something to think about. I recently read about a
guy named Lindsey Williams who wrote a book called ‘The
Energy Non-Crisis’ in which he talks about how the current
gasoline and oil prices are artificially created by an
international conspiracy designed to keep the United States
buying oil from certain middle-eastern countries,
particularly Saudi Arabia.

He claims that the largest oil field in the world was dis-
covered about twenty years ago just off the northern coast
of Alaska. Enough oil, potentially, to supply all of North
America’s energy needs for the next two hundred years.

This discovery was hushed up by the federal government,
according to Williams, in order to keep us buying our oil
from the middle-east. But why?

The theory is that forty years ago Henry Kissinger, acting
as Secretary of State for the United States, worked out
deals with certain oil-producing countries, to buy as much
oil as they could produce, making them wildly rich, provided
that they 1) conduct all oil transactions in U.S. dollars,
practically guaranteeing that the dollar will be the accepted
international currency, and 2) that these countries will
spend a portion of the money WE send them to buy U.S. debt.

Of course, in the last forty years the U.S national debt has
gone from $390 billion in 1970 to a ridiculous nine and a
half trillion dollars today.

What does that mean to you and me? It means that if Williams
is right, and the U.S. started producing the majority of its
energy at home, the middle-east would stop financing our
debt (with our own money) causing a collapse of the dollar
and a recession that would make the 1930s look like a tea
party.

But is it true?

Interestingly enough…the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge
(ANWR), where all of this oil supposedly is, first became
a federal protected area in 1960, and in 1980 an expansion
of the refuge included 1.5 million acres of the coastal plain
where Williams claims the discovery was made, requiring
congressional authorization before oil drilling may proceed.

Bizarrely,

Lewis

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+———– Even More Bizarre July Holidays ————+

July 21 is National Tug-Of-War Tournament Day

July 22 is Ratcatcher’s Day

July 23 is National Vanilla Ice Cream Day

July 24 is Amelia Earhart Day

July 25 is Threading The Needle Day

July 26 is All Or Nothing Day

July 27 is Take Your Pants For A Walk Day

July 28 is National Milk Chocolate Day

July 29 is Cheese Sacrifice Purchase Day

July 30 is National Cheesecake Day

July 31 is Parent’s Day

***

——- Police: Robber with sword stole pain pills ——–

GLENDALE, Colo. – Police in Colorado said a man armed
with a 30-inch samurai sword took painkillers from a
Walgreens pharmacy. Investigators said Dylan Lee Suomi,
19, of Denver, jumped over the counter at the Glendale
pharmacy, threatened employees with the sword and ran
off with an undisclosed amount of Oxycontin pills, The
Denver Post reported Wednesday. Police said Suomi was
caught by officers about 100 yards from the Walgreens.
He was arrested on suspicion of aggravated robbery of
a controlled substance and felony menacing. Suomi was
being held at the Arapahoe County Jail on $50,000 bond.

————————————————————
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——- Man arrested three times in just over week ——–

GRETNA, La. – Authorities in Louisiana say a man was
arrested three times in a little more than a week for
allegedly repeating the same crime — not paying a
restaurant bill. The Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office
said Michael Bryant, 36, of Tucson, Ariz., was first
arrested June 22 after he refused to pay a $23 check at
Melancon’s Annex in Metairie, La., The (New Orleans)
Times-Picayune reported Wednesday. Bryant was released
but then sent back to jail a few days later when he
refused to pay a check at Pitre’s Restaurant in Westwego.
Once again he was released. His third arrest came Monday
when he refused to pay his bill at Sun Ray Grill near
Gretna. Officials said Bryant was released because over-
crowding at the jail requires many non-violent offenders
to be freed to make way for those accused of violent
crimes. Bryant, who was charged with defrauding an inn-
keeper, was being held Tuesday in Jefferson Parish
Correctional Center in lieu of $1,000 bond.

————- Man stole computer from jail ————–

KALAMAZOO, Mich. – A Michigan college student was sentenced
to 180 days for what the judge described as “the dumbest
crime I’ve heard today” — stealing a computer from a jail.
William Bradley, 25, a student at Western Michigan Univer-
sity in Kalamazoo, was convicted of larceny after he took
a computer that was delivered to the jail while he was
serving a sentence for a separate case and concealed it
behind some trash bins to be picked up later, the Kalamazoo
Gazette reported Wednesday. Bradley’s actions were recorded
by Kalamazoo County Jail security cameras. Kalamazoo County
Circuit Judge Gary Giguere Jr. said during the sentencing
it was “the dumbest crime I’ve heard today.” “It may be in
the top half dozen in my career,” he said. “You need to get
a handle on this theft thing. Your life of crime is not
working out.” Bradley agreed with the judge. “I’m not the
best criminal,” he admitted.

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————————————————————

——– Vultures take over Fla. couple’s yard ———

KINGSLAND, Fla. – A Florida couple said a flock of about
50 vultures that descended on their yard has grown
accustomed to their pit bulls and refuses to leave. Robert
and Hattie Garrett said the vultures, which began roosting
in trees in their Kingsland yard in January, are difficult
to scare, the (Jacksonville) Florida Times-Union reported
Wednesday. “They will fly up in the trees, but it’s as far
as they go,” Robert Garrett said. “If you didn’t know
better, you’d think we have a buzzard ranch.” He said his
two pit bulls have given up on trying to chase the birds
away and he has spotted the vultures drinking from the
dogs’ water dish. “I guess they got tired of fussing and
fighting with them,” he said of the dogs. “It’s like the
birds belong there. I guess they got used to the barking.”
The couple said they are turning to the National Wildlife
Research Center for advice on how to get rid of the
vultures.

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————————————————————

Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here…F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored

————————————————————

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I was going to pass the worm charming article to my babe
but I can’t picture her dressing as Yoda, tap dancing to
star wars or smacking anything with a stick. There are
better ways to make vibrations using the force.
[Apparently you're not very kinky. There are a lot of guys
who have that exact fantasy.]

Lewis: Did you know that some of these dubious firearms
owners who do irretrievable damage to themselves and/or
their capacity to produce progeny are eligible for the
“Darwin Awards”. Fitting justice, isn’t it? -Leon

In all the rants about social security, one thing seems
to be overlooked. What about Inflation? Those retiring now
(or collecting benefits now) were making less per month
(generally) than they now need to survive. Minimum wage is
going up again, soon, meaning the cost of living will also
go up. People who grew up abler to survive on less than
$1000 a month will now find they need more than $2000 a
month. Its a pity the new min. wage will actually create
more poor people , as opposed to giving the poor a leg up.
As if our economy wasn’t already in trouble. -Jonathan

Lewis, The letter about the man shooting himself in the
head with the unloaded gun reminded me of an incident when
I was a kid. Dad was cleaning the shotgun, which was
supposedly unloaded, in the living room when Mom made him
take it outside. He then shot a hole in the carport roof
with the ‘unloaded’ gun. -Beth
[Guns can be fatal when mishandled. It's a good thing your
dad's lesson didn't blowing a hole in something more
important than a roof...like your mother. I bet he never
handled a gun again without checking to make sure whether
or not it was loaded!]

—————— END OF READER COMMENTS ——————

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