Saturday, January 30, 2010

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

It looks like we’re going to have a bizarre parenting
three-fer. First we had the Georgia mom who punished her
little boy for bringing home a bad grade by making him
kill his own pet hamster with a hammer. Then there was the
Pennsylvania mom who drove her son around to his burglary
jobs. This week we have the story of a Colorado man who
used his children to run interference with the police for
him while he passed out drunk.

Police in Colorado said a drunken man arrested in a
McDonald’s play area told his young kids to “bite the
officers’ faces off.”

Colorado Springs Police said Joshua Algers, 28, was found
passed out drunk in a McDonald’s play area, because that’s
where people go in Colorado Springs to sleep off a hang
over, and officers placed him under arrest upon learning
there was a warrant out for his arrest.

Algers became aggressive when police called the mother of
his children to come pick them up, and then instructed the
kids to “bite the officers’ faces off.”

You better believe there was a tasering when the suspect
resisted arrested. However, no faces were lost during the
altercation.

Bizarrely,

Lewis

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+————– Bizarre February Holidays —————+

February 1 is Serpent Day

February 2 is Purification Day

February 3 is Cordova Ice Worm Day

February 4 is Create A Vacuum Day

February 5 is Disaster Day

February 6 is Lame Duck Day

February 7 is Charles Dickens Day

February 8 is Kite Flying Day

February 9 is Toothache Day

February 10 is Umbrella Day

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———— Man fights ticket for blowing nose ————

PRESTWICK, Scotland – A Scottish motorist who was ticket-
ed for blowing his nose while his car was stopped in
clogged traffic said he will take the charge to court.
Michael Mancini, 39, of Prestwick, said he was in station-
ary traffic with his parking brake on when he reached for
a handkerchief to wipe his runny nose, leading police
Constable Stuart Gray to issue him a $97 fine because he
was “not in control of his vehicle” while blowing his nose,
the Daily Mail reported. “It’s beyond a disgrace,” Mancini
said. “Surely it would have been more dangerous to drive
with a blocked nose?” Mancini said he will not pay the
ticket and is now likely to face a criminal trial later
this year, the newspaper reported. “I am really angry. I
made sure it was safe to blow my nose. It’s doubtful I’ll
get legal aid so this could potentially cost me thousands
of pounds in legal fees,” he told the Daily Mail. “But I
won’t be paying the fixed penalty.” Gray previously made
headlines last year when he issued an $80 littering ticket
to a man who accidentally dropped a 10-pound ($16) note
in the street.

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——- Couple learns cracked vase worth thousands ——-

DORCHESTER, England – An elderly British couple has been
told a cracked Chinese vase they hid in a spare bedroom
is worth more than their house and possibly everything
else in it. The couple, who want to remain anonymous,
received the blue and white lantern vase as a gift half
a century ago, The Sun reported. An appraiser for Dukes
auction house in Dorchester spotted it during a routine
appraisal at the couple’s home in Dorset. Guy Schwinge
of Dukes said the vase is expected to bring in 500,000
pounds ($807,000) when it is auctioned. If it was in mint
condition, it might fetch twice that, he told the Sun.
The vase was made in about 1740 for the Emperor Qianlong,
Schwinge said. He said it may have belonged to the
family of Florence Nightingale, founder of trained
nursing, during the 19th century. Schwinge said the vase
“exemplifies the best porcelain of the period.” “There is
evidence that it had been used as an umbrella stand and
it does have a crack in it and has been splashed with
paint,” he said.

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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here…F-R-E-E!

http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14380/c/120/a/499

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>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

They say the family that steals together stays together…
Or is it the family that kills small furry animals together
says together. . .Hmmmm Bizarre. You know how the weatherman
talks about relative humidity? Is that the sweat produced
when cousins have sex? Aren’t modern families great! -Rebekah
[You seem to know a lot about having sex with relatives,
Rebekah. Is there something you want to share with us?]

I had no trouble whatsoever doing this. None at all. I could
just keep going — no problem — with my right foot moving
clockwise and my right hand making sixes (counter-clockwise).
Does that make me strange? –Tabitha
[Yes. Yes it does.]

Lewis – I knew it! You were making up the reader’s comments
all along. -Lance
[If I were making up reader comments there would be a lot
more women with interesting stories. For example, Rebekah
would have told us about the steamy lesbian affair she had
with the cousin she spent the summer with at her family's
vacation house when she was 17.]

Hello Lewis: You don’t get it! The difference between the
two mothers is that one was a thief and the other was a
murderer. Anyone who will kill an animal without a reason
is capable of killing a human without reason. Can you
post my message without [..........] -JT
[You're right. There is a connection between a pattern of
animal abuse as a child and adult violence.]

About that Japanese robot, how long before you think it will
be made in China? -Tony
[Hmmm...might be a good solution to their population problem.]

Hi Lewis, I’ve only read the intro to today’s email so far…
I was struck by the mother’s name. The weekly manners column
“Miss Manners” is also written by a Judith Martin, although
I’m positive not the same mother in your story. I love Bizarre
News! Keep up the great work! -Angela

—————— END OF READER COMMENTS ——————

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