Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Who ever said the Germans don’t have a sense of humor? This
story comes from the town of Warngau, Germany. Gerle Kittler
is a typical 25-year-old bachelor. That is, he and his
friends are borderline alcoholics. And like unrepentant
drunks they like to play practical jokes on each other.

At a party Gerle had the bad luck to be the first to pass
out and his friends took advantage of his poor judgment.
They wheeled still-sleeping Gerle, and the sofa more than
a mile to the local station near Warngau, and put him on
a train after buying a single ticket for him and a bike
ticket for the settee.

He only woke up on a platform four miles down the line,
still stretched out on his couch being quizzed by police.

“I always sleep like a baby so I didn’t notice anything
until the cops shook me awake and demanded my ID. I
thought I was in the middle of a bad movie,” said Gerle.

A second rude awakening came when he realized he had no
cash and his mobile battery was dead.

“I ran four miles home and went straight back to bed,” he
said. There is no report of what happened to the sofa.

That sounds like an awfully good sport to me.

Bizarrely,

Lewis

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+———– Even More Bizarre August Holidays ————+

August 21 is National Spumoni Day

August 22 is Be An Angel Day

August 23 is National Spongecake Day

August 24 is Knife Day

August 25 is Kiss-And-Make-Up Day

August 26 is National Cherry Popsicle Day

August 27 is Petroleum Day

August 28 is World Sauntering Day

August 29 is More Herbs, Less Salt Day

August 30 is National Toasted Marshmallow Day

August 31 is National Trail Mix Day

***

———— 66 sleep in jail for fundraiser ————–

HILLSBORO, Mo. – A Missouri sheriff said 66 people spent
the night in county lockup to raise money for a newly
renovated wing of the jail. Sheriff Oliver “Glenn” Boyer
said those spending Friday night behind bars at the
Jefferson County Jail ranged in age from 18 to 82, with
some being duped into participating by family and friends
who gave initial false excuses for visiting the courthouse
in the evening, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported.
Boyer said reservations for the evening cost $50 for
individuals and $90 for couples. “I never thought I’d get
people to pay to get in here,” Boyer said.

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----------- N.Y. man swings at 7,000 pitches --------------

BABYLON, N.Y. - A New York state man who swung at about
7,000 pitches failed to set a Guinness record but succeed-
ed in raising money for charity, a Youth League official
said. Andrew Manzo, vice president of the North Babylon
(N.Y.) Youth League, said league President Mike Filippone,
49, managed to swing at thousands of pitches for 13 1/2
hours, but fell well short of his goal of a 24-hour batting
marathon, Newsday reported. "After 13 hours, the paramedics
recommended that he stop," Manzo said. Filippone's attempt
helped raise more than $4,000 for Schneider Children's
Hospital in New Hyde Park, N.Y. Area residents were asked
to pay $20 to pitch 25 baseballs to the father-of-four.
Filippone told Newsday swinging a bat for 13 hours turned
out to be a pretty tough challenge. "Every hour I would
take a five-minute break and I would just think to myself,
'What was I thinking?'" Filippone said.

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--------- Police: Women arrested in revenge plot ----------

STOCKBRIDGE, Wis. - Police in Wisconsin said a woman and
her husband's three mistresses have been arrested for an
alleged revenge plot involving a motel room and powerful
glue. Investigators said one of the mistresses, Therese
Ziemann, 48, lured the 36-year-old man to a Stockbridge
motel with promises of a "rub down" and he was blindfolded
and tied to the bed before the other three women entered
the room, the Chicago Tribune reported Tuesday. The women
threatened the man with mace, punched him in the face and
Ziemann used Krazy Glue to glue the man's penis to his
stomach, the criminal complaint said. The women fled the
room when the man started yelling. All three were arrested
and charged with false imprisonment, while Ziemann was also
charged with fourth-degree sexual assault and misdemeanor
battery. The man was treated and released at a local
hospital.

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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored

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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Lewis, In the future, don’t let TZ do your server updates.
Remember – you get what you pay for. -Greg
[TZ? He's lucky if he can figure out how to turn a computer
on.]

Hi Lewis! I’ve been reading this newsletter since the 7th
grade and now being in my second year of college, I want
to thank you for the great supply of weird stories i’ve
found on the internet. i have another “weird” thing i think
you should make your readers aware of: The Obama Deception.
Just type into google for loads of information on the lies
being fed to us. Thanks again, Too Distraught
[So you're a conspiracy theorist? I think it's a little
paranoid to think Obama is a puppet of some shadowy, inter-
national money cartel, but I will agree that as a decision
and policy-maker he is influenced by who has the money.
That is just inevitable, in my opinion.]

How about showing your loyal readers Petra’s photo. Inquiring
minds want to know. -Henry, Los Altos, CA
[There are about 800,000 porn pages on the Internet and you
want me to provide you with naked pics? You're old enough to
be looking for your own porn!]

Lewis, I am originally from California but have lived in
Canada since the 70s. It is great up here! Seven years ago
my husband had a heart attack at 8am and by 10 am had a
stent in and was laughing on his way to intensive care for
a week. He is fine today. Last year I took the year off due
to cancer. It took two weeks from the time we found out
what it was until I had my surgery. I am 100% cancer free
now but still receiving excellent care. We didn’t have to
pay anything for either health issue and pay $96.00 per
month for both of us for our medical. I compare this to my
girlfriend, a retired teacher in South Carolina who had a
heart attack, she is stressed from the bill collectors and
has ended up broke with a balance owing she will never
clear up. Her home and property will be turned over to
‘them’ when she dies. To me you are not anywhere near half
way to being Canadian but if you work real hard….
[I won't belittle anybody's success story. I don't know if
you're typical, but I hope it continues to work out for you!]

—————— END OF READER COMMENTS ——————