Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Today is Election Day, folks (I’m writing this yesterday
as you might imagine), and already there are some bizarre
stories appearing on the Internet.

At a voting station in Philadelphia there was a report of
two men dressed in Black Panther gear (the organization
started in the sixties to promote black power, rights and
racial safety and defense) standing in front of the doors
and wielding billy clubs.

While their intent was unclear, according to the story I
saw, a witness at the scene did tell a reporter that one
of the Panthers told him that, ‘a black man is going to
win this election no matter what.’

That’s not the kind of thing you normally see during an
election. At least that’s not the kind of thing I normally
see during an election. And while I would love to sit
around all afternoon and continue to watch the election
news coming in, I have to get out to the polls myself
before my voting location is blockaded by a bunch of senior
citizens brandishing canes and walkers who are determined
that a septuagenarian is going to win this election no
matter what.

Bizarrely,

Lewis

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+————- Bizarre Holidays For November ————–+

November 11 is Air Day

November 12 is National Pizza With The Works Except
Anchovies Day

November 13 is National Indian Pudding Day

November 14 is Operation Room Nurse Day

November 15 is National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day

November 16 is Button Day

November 17 is Take A Hike Day

November 18 is Occult Day

November 19 is Have A Bad Day Day

November 20 is Absurdity Day

***

——- Police: Man gave wine to trick-or-treaters ——–

GOTENE, Sweden – Police in Gotene, Sweden, said they
arrested a man who allegedly tried to give alcohol to
two trick-or-treaters then poured wine over them.
Investigators said the man, who was described as in his
40s, invited the two 11- and 12-year-old children into
his home while they were trick-or-treating on Halloween
and offered them what he claimed was non-alcoholic wine,
The Local reported Monday. However, the children spat
out the drinks, which police said were a mixture of
wine and liquor, and the man then allegedly poured wine
all over the children and their bags of treats. Police
said the man was charged with harassment. “He has
confessed and blamed it on the fact that he was drunk,”
police spokesman Jerry Nyberg told Swedish news agency TT.

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——— Man claims attack by priest, two nuns ———–

RUTINO, Italy – A Rutino, Italy, restaurateur claims he was
brutally beaten by a priest and two nuns after a dispute
about the lease on the property. The alleged victim,
identified as A.E., 49, said he rushed into his establish-
ment after hearing the three clergy were trashing the
restaurant and during the ensuing confrontation the priest
struck him with a chair and the two nuns — who their
lawyers said have “a combined age of 160″ — kicked him
in the stomach, ANSA reported Monday. A.E. was hospitalized
with injuries to his neck and abdomen, doctors said. “I
came down to try to calm things down but the priest hit
me with a chair and I ended up on the floor. Then the two
sisters started kicking me, insulting me with unrepeatable
words,” the restaurant owner said. Lawyers for the accused
denied the assault and said the restaurateur was embroiled
in a dispute with the local convent of the Disciples of
Saint Teresa, which owns the building. The priest
reportedly was recruited to help the nuns convince A.E.
to give up his lease on the property, ANSA said. “That
establishment was occupied illegally,” a lawyer for the
accused said.

——— Calif. company developing flying car ———–

SACRAMENTO – A California company says it’s working on a
flying car that would lift drivers above idling rush-hour
traffic with the flick of a switch. Moller International
of Sacramento, Calif., is modifying a Ferrari 599 GTB,
outfitting it with retractable wings, eight mounted engines
and a battery-powered booster that would enable it to soar
as high as 2,500 feet in the air, the New York Daily News
reported Tuesday. Called the Autovolantor, the idea was
suggested by a wealthy Russian investor and is being
developed into a $3 million prototype, said Bruce Calkins,
general manager of the company. “At first, we were very
skeptical,” Paul Moller, the company’s chairman, told the
Daily News, but added that after initial testing, “We were
surprised by how practical it became.” Moller has a back-
ground developing vertical takeoff and landing aircraft,
the newspaper said.

————————————————————
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———– New ring advertises single status ————

MONTREAL – A French-Canadian entrepreneur near Montreal
is marketing specially designed rings that advertise the
wearer is single and approachable. Jean Thibodeau, 43,
told The Gazette newspaper in Montreal the ring makes
sense in Quebec’s society, where marriage is becoming more
scarce in favor of common-law relationships. Thibodeau’s
rings, made in Hong Kong, are stainless-steel adorned with
a metallic-blue paint stripe, the newspaper said. They
sell for $39.95 in 12 stores in northern Montreal suburbs.
Thibodeau said he plans on gradual expansion further into
the province. A saleswoman at one of the stores selling
the rings said about three rings are sold each day, mostly
to women. Quebec’s statistical agency backs up Thibodeau’s
observation on marriage — only one quarter of men and a
third of women can expect to marry in their lifetime in
the province, down from near nine in 10 men and women in
1966. The report didn’t specify on which, if any particular
finger the ring is worn.

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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here…F-R-E-E..
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————————————————————

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

What is it with you guys, anyway? Is it just a reflex to
pee or cum rather than talk? My ex-boyfriend shot his cum
all over my coffee table when I refused to have sex with
him for the 4th time in one day, then he stomped out. Have
you any idea how hard it is to get semen stains out of silk
flower arrangements?? Think, men. Talk. Our vaginas may
be closed but our ears are open. -Chris Carlson
[Kind of difficult since most men communicate with women
most readily with their penes.]

The airplane story gives a whole new meaning to, “getting
a little bit of tale.” LOL! Hope you are having a great
day, Marv
[That's one mile-high club I'd rather not belong to.]

Hey Lewis, I’ve been a reader off and on for a few years
now. I’m currently in Iraq serving in the U.S. Army. I just
wanted to say “Thank You” for your newsletter because I
look forward to every issue. It’s boring and tedious over
here so it’s nice to get some humor into my day. Everyone
keeps asking me “Where do you get this stuff?” I just smile
and say “It’s G-14 Classified!” Thank you for brightening
my days. -HAT
[Thanks for reading and Go Army!]

Lewis, I read somewhere that a local dentist in my home
state was arrested for molesting female patients while
they were under anesthesia..He was charged with trying to
fill the wrong cavity! -Steven
[Bad. Just bad.]

Hi Lewis, Isn’t it odd how we can make gross stereotypical
observations about certain professions such as lawyers
(“most lawyers are just a free clinic visit away from being
whores anyway”) that we would never get away with regarding
ethnic groups or people of certain gender, national origin
or religious persuasion. Politicians, phone solicitors,
paparrazzi and weathermen are just a few others that come
to mind that seem to be constantly in season. It’s good that
we can have these outlets. I wonder if bloggers will one day
have this distinction? -Gary