Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

What is the cash in your pocket worth? You may think they
money you spend every day is issued and backed by the
United States of America. But you’re wrong. Take a look
at the seal on the left side of the obverse of every single
bank note in your possession. It reads Federal Reserve Bank
of…

Well, Federal Reserve Bank must mean the bank of the Federal
government or something, right? The Federal Reserve is not a
branch of your federal government. It is a cartel of private
banking giants that operate to regular the economy of the
United States with authority given to it by your federal
government, and much more frighteningly, the authority to
print money.

Let me put those two words together for you, private and
money. Your money is issue by privately owned banks. This
is what is called “fiat” money. Fiat meaning a legally
binding command.

Okay, as long as our government authorized this collection
of private banks to print money it should be just as good
as real U.S. currency, shouldn’t it?

Other than the unconstitutionality of fiat money, the
Federal Reserve can print as much money as it sees fit. In
other words, as much money as the federal government needs.
You see, the federal government pays for everything it does
by levying taxes. When taxes fall short it borrows money
from foreign countries. When even this falls short, which
it always does, it borrows money from the Federal Reserve.

Where does the Federal Reserve get it? They don’t. They make
it up. Print it out of pixie dust and cotton pulp. It is
imaginary.

So what happens when you make money out of nothing? When you
pump billions of pieces of worthless paper into the economy
you devalue the currency that is already circulating. In
other words, every worthless dollar that is printed reduces
the value of the dollar already in your pocket. That means
you need more of them to purchase anything. There is a word
for this you are already familiar with. Inflation.

So how long has this been going on? The Federal Reserve was
created in 1913, with the enactment of the Federal Reserve
Act. And how have they been doing so far?

Since World War II Federal Reserve notes have lost about 90
percent of their purchasing power.

If I am going to have a private company issue my money for
me I think I’d rather have Wal*Mart do it. At least their
value has historically gone up!

Bizarrely,

Lewis

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+———— More Bizarre February Holidays ————-+

February 11 is White Tee-Shirt Day & Don’t Cry Over
Spilled Milk Day

February 12 is National Plum Pudding Day

February 13 is Get A Different Name Day & Dream Your
Sweet Day

February 14 is Ferris Wheel Day & National Heart to
Heart Day

February 15 is National Gum Drop Day

February 16 is Do A Grouch A Favor Day

February 17 is Champion Crab Races Day

February 18 is National Battery Day

February 19 is National Chocolate Mint Day

February 20 is Hoodie Hoo Day

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——— Man yells at parrot, jailed for weekend ———

EDINBURGH, Scotland – A 19-year-old Scottish man who
admitted to threatening his grandmother’s parrot for
interrupting his sleep was ordered to apologize with
chocolates. Stefan McKinsley, 19, pleaded guilty Monday
to a breach of the peace after his grandmother called
police Friday at 2:45 a.m. and said the teenager was
intoxicated and hitting the parrot’s cage, Britain’s
The Daily Telegraph reported Monday. Prosecutors said
McKinsley, who threatened the bird with violence if it
did not quiet down and allow him to sleep in the spare
room, did not calm down after his grandmother placed a
cloth over the parrot’s cage. McKinsley, who spent the
weekend in jail, was sentenced by Edinburgh Sheriff Court
to buy his grandmother a box of chocolates as an apology.

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———- Utah man creates 18-tower ice castle ———-

MIDWAY, Utah – A Utah ice sculptor said his massive out-
door ice castle has grown to include 18 towers, each of
which measures 30 to 35 feet high. Brent Christiansen
said he uses 20 sprinkler heads to expand the structure
by 10-12 tons of ice each day on the golf course of the
Zermatt Resort and Spa in Midway, Utah, and he plans to
continue expanding the project through the end of February,
The Salt Lake Tribune reported. Christiansen said the
resort allows him to keep the $2 entrance fee visitors
must pay to enter the castle and he and his wife were
given a room at the hotel for the season. The self-taught
sculptor said the main tower of the structure is expected
to reach three to four stories high by the time of its
completion.

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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Hi Lewis, I’m sure I’m not the only one who thinks that the
reader comments section is really the highlight. Some of
the bizarre news items are pretty good. But for the most
part, for me at least, the purpose of the bizarre news items
is to spark the reader comments. Now those are the real
treasures, especially your replies. You have such wit and
wisdom. Nice job! -Dean
[Thanks Dean. I'm sorry I don't have a wise and witty
response to your comment, but you seem to have said it all!]

Your witty remarks to reader comments makes me wonder, Lewis,
did you get in trouble as a kid in school for being a smartass?
-Andrea

Hey, Lewis, in your story about the Scottish motorist…you
listed the fines as US dollars rather than Scottish pounds
(or are they using Euros now?). Is that the approximate
equivalent in US money or do you just not know how to get
the pound symbol? That’s ok if you don’t, neither do I.
–CW
[Why, do you think it made a difference to the dumb bastard
who stopped traffic to blow his nose?]

Methinks Leading Constable Gray is not in full control of
his senses, and should therefore give himself a ticket for
being a douche-bag! -Steve, Frankston Nth, Australia

—————— END OF READER COMMENTS ——————

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