He Must Be Looking For His Blarney-Bone!

It just wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without a frozen turkey
assault. Except this time the turkey was used against a
perpetrator.

North Carolina authorities say a shopper clubbed an alleged
carjacker with a frozen turkey as he tried to steal a woman’s
car in a grocery store parking lot.

Police say 30-year-old Fred Louis Ervin of Raleigh stole
money from a gas station before running across the street
to a Harris Teeter store in a town just south of Raleigh.
Garner police say he began beating Irene Moorman Bailey
while stealing her car.

Other shoppers came to her rescue, including one who hit
Ervin with the turkey. Police did not release the person’s
name.

Despite serious head injuries, Ervin got away in Bailey’s
car and hit several other cars as he fled. But police
arrested him a short time later.

He faces several charges including assault inflicting serious
injury. Ervin was hospitalized Monday in good condition, a
hospital spokeswoman said.

Bizarrely,

Lewis

————————————————————

+—————- Bizarre Health Holidays —————–+

Self Improvement Month–September 1-31

Red Cross Month–March 1-31

National Eye Health Care Month–January 1-31

National Eye Exam Month–August 1-31

National Fiber Focus Month–January 1-31

National Joy Germ Day–January 8

Virus Appreciation Day–October 3

Use Even if Seal is Broken Day–November 24

Toothache Day–February 9

Foot Health Month–March 1-31

Foot Health Month–August 1-31

Fungal Infection Awareness Month–May 1-31

Cancer in the Sun Month–June 1-30

Stay Out of the Sun Day–July 3

Stress Awareness Month–April 1-30

National Stress Awareness Day–April 16

National Stress Free Family Holiday Month–December 1-31

National Anxiety Month–April 1-30

Better Sleep Month–May 1-31

May is Better Hearing Month–May 1-31

National Arthritis Month–May 1-31

White Cane Safety Day–October 15

***

——— Missing dog found after almost 5 years ———-

PLEASANTVILLE, N.J. – A Pleasantville, N.J., family said
their pet dachshund, which went missing nearly five years
ago, has been found by a Pittsburgh animal shelter. Edna
Colon, 18, said her mother, Elda Arguello, received a
letter from the Animal Rescue League of Western Pennsyl-
vania informing her that the male dachshund, named Tootsie,
was found as a stray in Pittsburgh. The shelter tracked a
microchip implanted in the animal back to Arguello and her
family, WPVI-TV, Philadelphia, reported Monday. Colon
said several members of the family planned to travel to
Harrisburg, Pa., for a reunion with their long-lost pet,
who was about 6 months old when he went missing from
Arguello’s yard nearly five years ago. “We appreciate the
Animal Rescue League. If not for them and the microchip,
we would never have seen Tootsie again. Because (the
Animal Rescue League) understands animal lovers, they did
all that they could to find us. We are so thankful to (the
organization) and their work to get Tootsie back to our
family,” Colon said.

————————————————————
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————————————————————

———– Pardoned turkey going to Disneyland ————

WASHINGTON – United Airlines says it will help the turkey
that dodges Thanksgiving dinner at the White House make
its getaway to Disneyland this week. The airline will strap
the lucky bird into a first-class seat Wednesday for a non-
stop flight from Washington to LAX and then on to Orange
County and a date as grand marshal of the annual Thanks-
giving parade at Disneyland. President George W. Bush is
set to issue the traditional Thanksgiving pardon Wednesday,
freeing the bird and a companion for the holidays. A United
spokesman told Crain’s Chicago Business Disney annually
buys out the entire first-class cabin for the turkey
delegation, which includes the caged turkey and a group
from the National Turkey Federation.

———- Britain sells out of bacon chocolate ————

LONDON – The only British store to stock chocolate bars
infused with bacon said its entire stock of the unusual
candies sold out within 48 hours of hitting the shelves.
Officials with Selfridges said the department store has
ordered a new supply of Mo’s Bacon Bar, which features
chunks of applewood smoked bacon and smoked salt in milk
chocolate, from Chicago-based manufacturer Vosges Haut-
Chocolat with an aim to have the candies back on sale in
time for the Christmas holiday, The Daily Telegraph
reported Monday. “Bacon and chocolate sounds like a strange
combination, but the execution is fantastic,” said Ewan
Venters, food and restaurant director for Selfridges. “It’s
a real explosion of flavors and people love it.” “There has
been a real revolution in luxury chocolate, as there was
with wine a few years ago. People are much more knowledge-
able about it and there is a growing demand for these high
quality, exotic products instead of a box of Milk Tray,”
Venters said. Vosges Haut-Chocolat’s line of unusual foods
mixed with chocolate includes mushrooms, sweet Indian
curry and Mexican ancho and chipotle chillies.

————————————————————
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————————————————————

———- Couple thinks creaky couch is haunted ———–

BRISTOL, England – Christine Strange and her husband,
Nigel, say a couch in their home in the British city of
Bristol makes mysterious noises because they believe it’s
haunted. Strange, 52, said the creaking noise from the
leather couch began randomly one recent weekend and the
couple has been unable to determine what has been causing
the strange noise, The Daily Telegraph said Monday. “One
Sunday morning I sat down on it with a cup of tea and
suddenly heard this odd squeaky noise,” she said. “I
thought I must be going mad but Poppy, my Yorkshire
terrier, heard it too.” Strange said her 54-year-old
husband has also been mystified by the unusual noise that
they have compared to a clock being wound up, the Telegraph
reported. “It could be an alien for all we know,” Strange
told the newspaper of the possible cause of the racket
from the couch. “The noise is getting louder and louder.
I’m scared it’s going to come bursting out one evening
while we’re watching TV.”

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————————————————————

Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here…F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored

————————————————————

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Margaux is not the first person to act upon her impulses
to mutilate a Barbie doll. She might be the first to make
a living at it, though. I do not find myself repulsed or
even frightened of her artwork. But I am frightened of her
psychiatry bill. -Brian
[Spend a lot of time taking out your aggressions on Barbie
dolls, Brian? Or are you talking about a "friend".]

I think the comment about “Louisianians being illerate” is
totally rude and uncalled for. I lived in Louisiana for 54
years and now I have moved to Texas and I havent found any
difference in the literacy that I saw in Louisiana.
[I'm sure you didn't find much difference in the literacy
levels between Louisiana and Texas.]

Lewis, last issue you put a comment from John. This dumbass
f*cker needs to be placed in what he refers to as “a
relatively safe place” and see if he has the same opinion!
He is also a stupid ass-hole by calling the people in mental
health facilities “those poor bastards.” He does not realize
that people from all walks of life are admitted on mental
health units because they know and realize they need help,
which is a lot more than can be said for that dumb, poor,
crazy bastard John. Your comments were more appropriate and
are much more intelligent. You seem to understand. -J.T.

Lewis, you wrote that, “Rodriguez was charged with domestic
battery, child abuse and improper use of a condiment.” Im-
proper use of a condiment??? U have got to be chitting me!
If it was salsa, could this be considered as a hate crime?
-James
[Giving salsa to a baby would be both an improper use of a
condiment...whipping a sandwich at a baby (or at a mother
who is driving with a baby in the car) would be considered
child abuse.]

Manny Rodriguez was apparently never taught not to throw
food. Police in Port St. Lucie, Fla., say a man was
arrested after allegedly striking his girlfriend with a
sandwich while she was driving.

The police report of the incident alleges the 19-year-
old victim picked up Emmanuelle Rodriguez, 19, from his
mother’s home and began driving to their new apartment in
Fort Pierce, Fla., while their 7-month-old son slept in
the back seat of the vehicle.

The report said the victim claims Rodriguez became angry
during the ride and “started to hit her in the arm and
striking her in the face with a sandwich, knocking her
glasses off her face.”

Rodriguez admitted arguing with his girlfriend and was
quoted in the report as telling officers that he “didn’t
want to hit her so he threw a sandwich at her, striking
her in the face (and) knocking her glasses off.”

Police said Rodriguez was charged with domestic battery,
child abuse and improper use of a condiment. He was
released from the St. Lucie County jail after posting
$7,500 bail.

Bizarrely,

Lewis

————————————————————

+——– Celebrities Who Read Their Own Obituary ———+

11. Bob Hope

10. Daniel Boone

9. Bertrand Russell

8. P.T. Barnum

7. Alfred Nobel

6. Paul McCartney

5. Ernest Hemingway

4. Ronald Reagan

3. Queen Elizabeth

2. Mark Twain

1. Pope John Paul II

***

——— Students, prisoners face off in chess ———–

TRENTON, N.J. – The seventh chess tournament between
Princeton University and the New Jersey State Prison saw
a surprising amount of prisoner victories, participants
said. The “Inmates and Ivy” chess tournament brought six
Princeton students to the prison in Trenton to test their
chess skills against a collection of convicted felons and
thieves, The (Newark) New Jersey Star-Ledger reported. The
Princeton students, who played several simultaneous games
against groups of prisoners, said the event usually ends
with the school nearly sweeping every game, with an
occasional single prisoner victory during the tournament.
However, this year’s competition saw victories by prisoners
Malvern Lewis, 43, who was convicted of killing his ex-
girlfriend’s new boyfriend by stabbing; Carl Gooding, who
was convicted of killing a man during a drug deal in 1987;
and Alonzo Hill, 39, who is serving life after a carjacking
that left a woman dead. “They’re good this year, but we
have only one master and one ranked expert. In the past,
the inmates have had to face much more phenomenal players,”
said John Marshall, a chief actuary for insurance firm
Benecard who took over running of the event after his
company ceased to sponsor the tournament.

————————————————————
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————————————————————

——— Illinois man accused of burning toilets ———-

CHICAGO – An 18-year-old man from Big Rock, Ill., allegedly
set fire to a church bathroom stall and burned two portable
toilets in a single night, police said. Police in Cary,
Ill., said Thomas J. Meehan allegedly set fire to a St.
Peter and Paul Church bathroom stall on Oct. 10, before
conducting similar arson with two portable toilets, the
Daily Herald newspaper in Arlington Heights, Ill., reported
Thursday. Cary Police Detective Susan Ellis said an
anonymous tip linked Meehan to the three fires, which
caused limited damage and resulted in no injuries. Ellis
said Meehan allegedly admitted to the three acts of arson
but offered no explanation for the motive for his crimes.
The Daily Herald said after being arrested last Friday on
an unrelated criminal trespass charge, the suspected toilet
arsonist was held on $70,000 bond pending a court
appearance on the criminal charges.

——– Dog drove van through coffee shop window ———

ST. JAMES, N.Y. – A St. James, N.Y., man said his dog was
behind the wheel when his van crashed through the window
of a coffee shop in the town. Bryan Maher said he had left
his dog — appropriately named Bentley — inside the van
with the engine running to allow the heater to function
while Maher was inside the Cool Beanz coffee shop perform-
ing at an open mike night, the New York Post reported
Thursday. Maher theorized Bentley saw him through the van’s
windows and began “pawing the glass, as dogs will do. He
inadvertently hit the shift lever into neutral.” The van
rolled down an incline and crashed through a window into
the coffee shop. “There was Bentley sitting behind the
window like he was saying, ‘Here I am!’ He was as happy
as can be,” Maher said. No one was injured in the crash.
As for punishing the driving pooch, Maher joked: “He’s
definitely going to lose his license.”

————————————————————
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————————————————————

——– New jewelry made from dismembered Barbies ———

NEW YORK – A New York designer says she was inspired to
make a new brand of designer jewelry out of spliced apart
Barbie dolls due to her own history with the toy. Designer
Margaux Lange said on her Web site that by slicing apart
the popular plastic doll and her boyfriend, Ken, she was
able to create a jewelry line featuring Barbie’s dismember-
ed body parts. “Barbie dolls were extremely significant in
fueling my creative life as a child,” she said. “They were
an invaluable tool for the expansion of my imagination then
and, ironically, Barbie continues to be such for me as an
adult.” “I am fascinated with who she is as a cultural
icon, her distinguished celebrity status and the enormous
impact she has had on our society.” The jewelry made from
pieces of Barbie, a Mattel toy initially released in 1959,
include necklaces made from Barbie’s severed breasts and
earrings made out of the doll’s removed lips, ears and
noses. Other unique offerings from Lange include rings
featuring half of Ken’s face and bracelets that show off
Barbie’s trademark smile.

————————————————————
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————————————————————

Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here…F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored

————————————————————

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Chris Casper needs to check his facts…that would have been
James earl “Call me Jimmy” Carter who emptied the mental
hospitals…seems his Attorney general felt that those poor
bastard’s rights had been trampled on by keeping them
(relatively) safe in institutions. -John
[If they are not a danger to themselves or anyone else, and
they can provide for themselves, there is no reason for some-
one with mental issues to be kept institutionalized.]

Lewis, The difference between stupid and ignorant is that an
ignorant person simply doesn’t know something about some
subject..A stupid person is one that is told what something
is, and refuses to learn…A person might not know the dif-
ference between “lose” and “loose”—he is ignorant…But,
when a person is told repeatedly what the difference is and
still refuses to use the proper spelling, that person is
stupid….Don from Columbus
[I think people from Columbus need to loose some of their
superiority complex.]

Lewis, Slow Bizarre News week? I’m trying to figure out why
a town getting a zip code was part of your offering to your
readers this week. Maybe if it was a town of vampires, or
dwarves, or Elvis impersonators–then it would be worthy of
Bizarre News. -Pete
[It's bizarre because the town that got the zip code is in
Louisiana, and nobody thought the residents were literate
enough to read any mail they might get anyway.]

Hey Lewis, Tell Jan she’s welcome to come over to my house
and curse me anytime. Just make sure that the $13,000 is
in small, used bills, m’Kay, Jan? -Mark Mills
[Why do I suddenly feel like a pimp?]

I’d like to ask you a question. Have you ever had an office
romance? 25 years ago this kind of thing was frowned upon and
discouraged. But with both men and women pursuing full-time
careers the office has become the first, best place to look
for a little companionship. And companies are taking a more
tolerant view of it. How can they afford not to? Practically
half of their work force is sleeping with the other half.

But this hasn’t come without consequences. Vulnerability to
lawsuits, employee turnover and serious workplace confron-
tations are just some of the problems facing companies with
a young, horny workforce, according to John A. Challenger,
chief executive officer of Chicago’s global outplacement
firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas.

But that doesn’t mean the trend is going to reverse. In fact
it will probably only increase. I’ve even seen it happen
right here in our very own GopherCentral.com offices. And
that leads me to our new poll. Have you ever had an office
romance? Drop me an email and let me know…and don’t skimp
on the intimate details!

And by the way, no, it wasn’t who was goofing around at the
office.

Bizarrely,

Lewis

————————————————————

+————- Bizarre Holidays For November ————–+

November 21 is World Hello Day and False Confessions Day

November 22 is Start Your Own Country Day

November 23 is National Cashew Day

November 24 is Use Even If Seal Is Broken Day

November 25 is National Parfait Day

November 26 is Shopping Reminder Day

November 27 is Pins And Needles Day

November 28 is Make Your Own Head Day

November 29 is Square Dance Day

November 30 is Stay At Home Because You’re Well Day

***

——- Couple arrested for sex at Bills-Jets game ——–

ORCHARD PARK, N.Y. – Security officers at Ralph Wilson
Stadium in Orchard Park, N.Y., said a reported disturb-
ance in a ladies’ restroom turned out to be a couple
having sex. Police said Alicia Venneman, 29, was charged
with disorderly conduct and her boyfriend, Jeramy Kemper,
31, was charged with trespassing and resisting arrest
after they were caught having sex in the women’s bathroom
across from Section 336 of the stadium during Sunday’s
game between the Buffalo Bills and the New York Jets,
The Buffalo (N.Y.) News reported Wednesday. “This was
inappropriate behavior in public,” Scott Berchtold, Bills
vice president of communications, said. “Our security
staff reacted accordingly, and law enforcement officials
were called in to handle the situation.” Orchard Park
police and Erie County sheriff’s deputies said 37 arrests
were made before, during and after the game. Law enforce-
ment officials said it was well above the average number
of arrests made surrounding a Bills home game.

————————————————————
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————————————————————

———- Farmer blames balloons for hen deaths ———–

HEREFORD, England – A farmer in England’s Herefordshire
county says low-flying hot-air balloons caused 30 of her
hens to die after their eggs exploded inside of them. Abbi
Vincent-Lloyd said the stress of seeing gigantic hot-air
balloons over their heads led the hens to run for shelter
in a panicked state that caused them to bump into one
another and rupture the eggs inside of them, The Daily
Telegraph reported Wednesday. Vincent-Lloyd said post-
mortems performed on the hens found they died of
peritonitis, an infection caused by their eggs bursting
inside their bodies. “I had lost about 15 birds when I
decided to have the vet do a post mortem on two of them,”
the farmer said. “I told the vet about the hot-air balloons
and jets flying low over the farm and straight away he said
that was the cause.” “As soon as the gas is released to
raise the balloon they go absolutely crazy,” she said.
“It is absolute chaos, when they go into anything and that
causes the egg to explode inside them. The fragments of the
egg and its contents then infect them and then they die
from it — it’s a horrible way to go.”

———- Dogs predicted U.S. election outcome ———–

COLD SPRING HARBOR, N.Y. – Organizers of a Cold Spring
Harbor, N.Y., costume party for dogs and their owners said
canines predicted the outcome of the U.S. presidential
election. The organizers of Howl-ween, also known as
Corky’s Canine Costume Party, said hundreds of dogs
participated in the “Bark the Vote” election and cast
ballots in the form of barking for Democrat Barack Obama
and Republican John McCain. Corky Nightingale, who oversaw
the barking election, said the dogs made the same choice
that their human counterparts would make a few days later
– the vote went to President-elect Barack Obama. “We feel
it was a fair contest between the two candidates. Voter
turnout was unprecedented,” Nightingale said. “We patiently
awaited results this evening to see if our votes had any
influence on the final outcome of the election. We are
proud to know our barks were heard throughout the nation,”
she continued. Howl-ween is held annually to raise funds
for rescue dogs and other canine causes. This year’s party
also included a costume parade through the town of Cold
Spring Harbor.

————————————————————
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————————————————————

———– Boy charged after chip bag ripped ————-

STOCKHOLM, Sweden – Swedish prosecutors have brought
charges against a 15-year-old boy accused of ripping
another boy’s bag of chips. The teenager allegedly tore
open the bag, spilling its contents onto the ground,
while trying to snatch the chips out of the other boy’s
hands, The Local reported Wednesday. Authorities said
the owner of the chips then made a comment that led a
14-year-old friend of a suspect to punch and kick the
alleged victim. However, the accused attacker is too
young to be charged under Swedish law. The 15-year-old
was charged with unlawful dispossession due to the
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if he is convicted. Prosecutors said the boy’s trial will
also deal with charges of vandalism and theft of a pack
of cigarettes in two separate incidents.

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————————————————————

Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here…F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored

————————————————————

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I’m far from being a prude but was printing the reader comment
about semen and silk flowers necessary?
[Yes. Absolutely. A lot of people don't know just how difficult
it is to get semen stains out of silk flowers.]

Lewis, I’ve subscribed to your newsletter from work for two
years. Now I quit and am sort of a “homemaker” in a way. I
just got DSL hooked up and have an extra bill to pay now.
Is there any way that I could make just enough a month to
pay for the DSL from home with my computer? How is it done?
I’m way up in Montana in the boonies, don’t know if that
makes a difference. let me know if you can. Thanks, Babz
[There's always web porn.]

Lewis, I think I am offended because you haven’t offended
me. Please let me know if I am offended or not so I can
wine and please, don’t send me any picks of your boobs!
–Straight man
[Why would you want pics of TZ and Jethro?]

I get so sick of people blowing smoke up your ass! The reader
commits are BS! BN is ok but it isnt the second coming!
Gesus people!! –Joey
[A second coming hasn't happened since the wife and I took a
second honeymoon two years ago.]

Lewis, Actually, Moller has been trying to develop a flying
car since the 60s. Their first attempt, creatively named the
Moller AirCar, was so heavy that it could only get airborne
if there were no passengers. Even then, it could only achieve
an altitude of about 10 feet. I don’t think they’re going to
get a Ferrari airborne any time soon.
[I could get a Ferrari airborne easily with enough explosives.]

Testosterone is responsible for a lot of the stupidity that
goes on in the world, but I find it hard to believe that
the following story is merely a male pissing contest and
did not involve some sort of drugs or alcohol. It does,
however, feature a watermelon-eating dog.

A police report said the two unidentified brothers got into
an argument this week in Boston after a dog belonging to
one of the men consumed a watermelon owned by his brother.

The argument over the missing watermelon escalated into a
shouting match between the siblings that allegedly caused
one brother to repeatedly stab himself in order to show he
didn’t care if he got hurt, police say.

Police officer Jamie Kennealy said when police arrived at
the scene to help take the injured brother to the hospital,
the other brother allegedly tried to barricade himself in
a room.

Kennealy reported the brother used a saw and hammer to place
pieces of wood across the door to keep police out of the room.

“During his barricading construction project he stated that
he wasn’t going to get arrested for stabbing his brother,”
he said, adding that police were content to leave him alone
after learning the other man’s wounds were self-inflicted.

But my question is…do dogs really eat watermelon?

Bizarrely,

Lewis

————————————————————

+—————- Bizarre Holidays Part 2 —————–+
OCTOBER

October 11 is It’s My Party Day

October 12 is International Moment Of Frustration Scream Day

October 13 is National Peanut Festival

October 14 is Be Bald and Free Day and National Dessert Day

October 15 is White Cane Safety Day

October 16 is Dictionary Day

October 17 is Gaudy Day

October 18 is No Beard Day

October 19 is Evaluate Your Life Day

October 20 is National Brandied Fruit Day

***

——— Alleged robber foiled by text message ———–

NEW YORK – An armored car guard has been arrested for
a New York heist thanks to surveillance footage and a
concerned text message to his co-worker, police allege.
Police said 34-year-old Robert Blackmon allegedly made
off with $330,000 during an armored car heist Tuesday,
and then contacted the co-worker he robbed via text
message to make sure she was all right, the New York
Post reported. Blackmon was allegedly photographed six
times by an automated teller machine camera during the
heist, the report said. Police said Blackmon lied so he
could get off of work Tuesday and then used a gun to rob
his co-worker, Janell Nelson, as she was leaving a bank
with a cash delivery. After being identified by his
manager, Blackmon was arrested, the report said.
Blackmon’s lawyer told Post “he would have to be fairly
stupid to rob someone who knows him without a mask.”

————————————————————
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————————————————————

———– First fold-away bathroom invented ————-

BRADFORD, England – A British designer said he was inspired
to create the first fold-away bathroom by the limited space
in many apartments throughout Britain. Designer Paul Hernon
said after his research indicated bathroom space in homes
and rentals was limited, he went about creating the world’s
first bathroom that can simply be folded up to save space,
The Daily Telegraph said Friday. “I did lots of research
and it became obvious to me that bathroom space was
decreasing, particularly in apartments,” he told the
newspaper. The 38-year-old inventor’s creation is an 8-foot-
tall metal column whose shower attachments, storage units
and toilet all rotate out for use. Once an individual’s
bathroom activities are concluded, the items swivel back
into place and form a unit that takes up less space than
conventional bathroom units. Hernon told the Telegraph that
the most alarming consumer aspect of his creation is its
weight as the Vertebrae weighs in at 330 pounds, meaning
the floor beneath it may need to be reinforced to support
its weight.

——— Disoriented man crashes into map store ———-

NEW YORK – A New York man said he was confused about his
route before he drove into the front of a map store in
his sport utility vehicle. Rodney Bailey said he was
disoriented after leaving a parking garage at about 8 a.m.
Thursday and made a right turn that landed him and his
Ford Expedition inside a Hagstrom Map shop, the New York
Post reported. Police said two women were clipped by the
SUV and were hospitalized with non-critical injuries. The
crash was ruled an accident by police and Bailey was not
charged with any wrongdoing. The map store re-opened later
in the day despite the loss of a plate glass window.

————————————————————
FUZZY SOCKS – Very Soft & Comfy…

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————————————————————

——— Police: Man used lighter in gas theft ———-

WAUKESHA, Wis. – A man in Mukwonago, Wis., suffered burns
to his hands after using a lighter for additional light
while siphoning gas from a vehicle, police allege. Police
said the unidentified suspect needed gas to travel to his
home in Wauzeka, Wis., last weekend when he decided to
siphon fuel from a van for his sport utility vehicle,
Milwaukee’s WISN-TV reported Wednesday. When he was unable
to see the level of gas in a container, the man used his
lighter for additional light, police allege. Police said
the flame ignited the flammable materials Saturday and the
man’s hands were burned. Neighbors contacted the police,
who arrested the man and an unidentified woman found with
him. WISN-TV said the man faces charges of negligent use of
burning materials and theft, while his alleged accomplice
has been accused of being party to theft.

————————————————————
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————————————————————

Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural.  Get The
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————————————————————

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Lewis…About PETA’s request for Ben & Jerry’s to use human
milk in their ice cream…. I’ll volunteer to collect it!
-Bill
[You and the 15 other guys who wrote in with similar
comments.]

Since breast mill can cost $3/ounce, Ben and Jerry’s would
have to pay $384/gallon for breast milk. I don’t think you
will see any breast milk in the ice cream anytime soon.
-Russ
[Not with all of the volunteers standing ready to collect
it!]

Excuse me??? “sane and practical?” where have you been?
Have you ever visited a PETA shelter where they kill all
the unwanted animals in a inhumane way? I have and it made
me sick. I could write 20 pages about PETA and what they
are really like…Ethical Treatment of Animals…sure…..
Al
[They told me that sarcasm died around 1994 but I didn't
believe them.]

So let me get this right, Google has higher hiring standards
than the United States did for the job of president the
last eight years, or for vice president this year? –Dianne
[That's the difference between being elected and hired.]

lewis, i don’t think that guy who had problems with his
numbers works for AIG, i think he probably works for the US
Government.  Oh, and what about “Peanut Butter C Cups” for
a flavor? -Cass
[I'll put it on the list to send to Ben & Jerry's.]