Greetings fellow Bizarros:

There goes next year’s vacation plans. It looks like China’s
first sex amusement park — complete with statues of giant
genitals — has been bulldozed before even opening its doors.

Love Land, due to open in October, was demolished last weekend
after Chinese authorities discovered the park planned a photo
gallery on the history of sex, naked human sculptures and giant
replicas of genitals.

The park on the banks of the Yangtze River was “vulgar, ill-
minded and misleading,” Chinese officials said in ordering its
destruction.

Park manager Lu Xiaoquing told China Daily he modeled Love Land
after a sex park in South Korea that featured sex-technique
workshops to help adults “enjoy a harmonious sex life,” Lu said.

“Sex is a taboo subject in China, but people really need to have
more access to information about it,” Lu said, noting his park
was “for the good of the public.”

Seeing as how the wife and I will not be able to go someplace
that’s all about sex, I guess we’ll have to settle for Las Vegas.

Bizarrely,

Lewis

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+————– More Bizarre June Holidays —————+

June 11 is National Hug Holiday and King Kamehameha Day

June 12 is Machine Day

June 13 is National Juggling Day and Kitchen Klutzes Of
America Day

June 14 is Pop Goes The Weasel Day

June 15 is Smile Power Day

June 16 is National Hollerin’ Contest Day

June 17 is Watergate Day and Eat Your Vegetables Day

June 18 is International Panic Day

June 19 is World Sauntering Day

June 20 is Ice Cream Soda Day

***

——— Boy, 11, sticks 43 snails to his face ———–

SANDY, Utah – A Utah boy stuck 43 snails to his face during
his 11th birthday party, setting a possible world record
if it is certified by Guinness. Chris Keheler said the
unusual birthday celebration for his son, Fin, in Sandy,
Utah, resulted from a Guinness Book of World Records he
obtained last autumn, KSL-TV, Salt Lake City, reported
Thursday. “We started leafing through it and he saw a
record he thought he could break,” Keheler said of his son,
who performed the feat at his birthday party Saturday. “I
thought I could totally beat that because I’m not grossed
out by snails like most people are,” Fin Keheler said. The
boy and his parents said the record in the book was eight,
but the record had grown to 36 by the time they completed
their Guinness paperwork for the planned attempt and some-
one in London managed 37 last week. However, the 11-year-
old managed to cover his face in 43 snails in one minute,
a time limit set by Guinness, and stood still without any
of the mollusks falling off. The Kehelers said they are
sending video and witness accounts of the event to Guinness
for official certification.

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——– Litterbug released after 4 years in jail ———

ALTAMONTE SPRINGS, Fla. – A Florida man who littered his
yard with junk including toilets and a statue of buttocks
has been released from prison after serving four years.
Alan Davis of Seminole County was originally convicted in
2003 on a felony criminal littering charge for what he
called a political protest, In 1999, he began covering the
roof and yard of his home with toilets, airplane parts,
scrap metal, a giant statue of buttocks and other objects
his neighbors found objectionable. He was sentenced to one
year in jail. However, he was jailed for three more years
after incurring multiple parole violations following his
release. Davis was released from prison Wednesday. The
exterior of his home is currently clear, except for some
tall weeds, WKMG-TV, Orlando, Fla., reported.

——– Cemeteries are the newest wedding sites ———

BROOKFIELD, Wis. – Cemeteries such as the Wisconsin
Memorial Park in Brookfield, Wis., have begun hosting
weddings as part of a new service trend, industry officials
say. Stewart Enterprises Inc. spokeswoman Denise Wester-
field, whose company operates the Brookfield cemetery, said
funeral homes make an ideal wedding site given the changing
perception of death in society, the Milwaukee Journal
Sentinel reported Wednesday. “Funerals are becoming much
more a celebration of life than a dark event, so why not
have your wedding at a funeral home?” Westerfield said.
Jessica Koth, National Funeral Directors Association spokes-
woman, said a growing number of cemeteries and funeral
homes have begun expanding their businesses to include
everything from weddings to bar mitzvahs. “It’s something
that more and more funeral homes are looking at, whether
they’re remodeling existing facilities or building new
additions,” Koth told the Journal Sentinel.

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——– 252-lb hooker ‘one woman demolition job’ ———-

BERLIN – Numerous neighbors of a 252-pound prostitute in
Berlin are asking a judge to put her out of business
because of the shaking of her apartment. Tenants of the
building where Ilnes Lorbach, 36, lives and legally
entertains her prostitution clients told the Administrative
Court in Berlin the sex worker’s lovemaking causes their
apartments to shake, the British tabloid The Sun reported
Thursday. One neighbor told the court a pair of valuable
Baccarat crystal glasses fell from a shelf and broke as a
result of the shaking. Carolso Hoffmann, who lives next
door to Lorbach, compared his living situation to “that
film ‘Earthquake.’” “I don’t know if the earth moved for
her clients but it did for us,” he said. “When you have a
100-plus kilo women grappling like a wildebeest with her
clients then you know about it, you really do. She’s a one-
woman demolition job.” Lorbach told the court she is “a
mother and as a working woman,” attempts to be “as discreet
as possible.” The judge in the case reserved judgment for
“a later date.”

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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
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————————————————————

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I’ve always (well, not actually ‘always’) wondered, is
Maguilla and JA the same person? Don G
[No (yes).]

Must be a Utah thing to regard a kilt as “cross-dressing”.
Maybe if the principal has the IQ of a turnip. I rather
doubt if William Wallace would have been considered a cross-
dresser in his day.
[You wouldn't think so until you consider that the women all
wore the exact same thing.]

This story is more bizarre than it seems. A neighboring town
has a school Ben Lomond that has a bagpipe band. The members
of the band wear their kilts. You often see the band members,
both boys and girls wearing their kilts in school for special
activities.
[There you go.]

I just wanted to let you know he did NOT get his burrito.
And after all that trouble too. -Anna from Indiana
[He's probably better off. In some states, being forced to
eat Taco Bell is a legitimate criminal sentance.]

Without you informing us of Bizarre Holidays, I would never
have known that my about-to-be 29 year old twin girls were
born on Repeat Day. Thanks for the FUN! June 3 – Twice as
much fun as any other day! lol Still lovin’ ya!

They “tried” to pass a law down here against having sex with
Goats. It didn’t pass so I guess it’s still legal. Go figure.
-Marty, St Petersburg, FL
[Goats aren't nearly as kinky as porcupines.]

—————— END OF READER COMMENTS ——————