Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Here’s one from across the pond which proves that the U.S.
has no monopoly on superficiality. In fact, I might go
so far as to say that the doctor in this story from the
online Sun is a real “Frankenstein” (please see reader
comments below).

A British plastic surgeon chose a young woman as his bride
and then sculpted her into his ideal wife, according to The
Sun.

Reza Vossough hated 33-year-old Cany’s body, but they tied
the knot anyway after he spotted her “potential.”

Vossough then performed eight operations to change his
bride’s chest, thighs, eyes and face.

Vossough spent five years pumping 1,600 grams of silicone
into her body, boosting her size A chest to an obscene F cup!

He also enhanced her lips, lifted her eyelids and de-creased
her forehead. The former waitress also had nip-and-tuck
operations to her butt, stomach and thighs and countless
Botox injections.

Only after $29,736 of cosmetic surgery did Vossough, 48,
fall in love with his wife.

And his wife is thrilled with the transformation. “When
your husband is a plastic surgeon, then the scalpel is your
friend,” she said.

Bizarrely,

Lewis

————————————————————

+———— More Bizarre November Holidays ————-+

November 11 is Air Day

November 12 is National Pizza With The Works Except
Anchovies Day

November 13 is National Indian Pudding Day

November 14 is Operation Room Nurse Day

November 15 is National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day

November 16 is Button Day

November 17 is Take A Hike Day

November 18 is Occult Day

November 19 is Have A Bad Day Day

November 20 is Absurdity Day

***

——- Bids reach $43,300 for motorized La-Z-Boy ——–

PROCTOR, Minn. – Police in Minnesota said a motorized
La-Z-Boy lounge chair involved in a drunken driving
incident has garnered bids of $40,000 on eBay. Proctor,
Minn., police said bids for chair, which was seized
from Dennis Anderson after he allegedly crashed while
intoxicated, reached $43,300 Monday, the Minneapolis
City Pages reported Monday. An autographed photo of
Anderson, which was put on eBay by his family to help
pay his legal fees, reached bids of a comparatively
cheap $305 Monday.

————————————————————

———– ‘Breathalyzer’ man charged with DUI ————

OXFORD, Ohio – Police in Ohio said they charged a man
dressed as a Breathalyzer with driving under the influence
of alcohol and underage drinking. Oxford police said James
Miller, 18, was pulled over just prior to 2:30 a.m. Sunday
for driving the wrong way on a one-way street and officers
determined the man, who was dressed in a Breathalyzer
costume, appeared to have been drinking, WLWT-TV,
Cincinnati, reported Monday. Miller, who had multiple
Ohio IDs in his wallet, was found to have a blood-alcohol
content of .158 by a test with a real Breathalyzer, police
said. He was charged and released into the custody of his
girlfriend.

————————————————————

——– Police: Peeper accidentally recorded self ———

SIMI VALLEY, Calif. – Police in California allege a Family
Christian Book Store employee accidentally recorded himself
setting up a peeping camera in the store’s bathroom. The
Simi Valley Police Department said Joseph David Ramon
Moreaux, 28, of Lancaster, Calif., accidentally taped
himself hiding the camera between boxes in the corner of
a store restroom used by both men and women, KTLA-TV, Los
Angeles, reported Tuesday. The camera was discovered Sunday
by a female patron who alerted police to its presence.
Officers said they found the video of Moreaux hiding the
camera on the device. Police said they have not yet
determined how long the camera was in place or how many
victims there may have been. Moreaux was arrested Sunday
and charged with peeping with a recording device.

————————————————————

Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here…F-R-E-E!

http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14380/c/120/a/499

————————————————————

>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Lewis, I can’t believe you haven’t printed the story about
the Va guy arrested for being naked in his own home. Seems
a lady walking her kid to bus stop at 530am had to go thru
his property and looked in his window as he made his morning
coffee in the buff. And she wasn’t arrested for trespass and
being a peeping Tomasina? Best, Connie
[Well, she shouldn't have been walking through his yard, but
then he should have been pressing his ding dong up against
the window.]

Lewis; A judge is being held on taking bribes to send teens
to jail. The private jail gets paid per inmate. This was in
the news from Pennsylvania. The judge sent one girl to jail
for writing a nasty note on her blog. -Brubrow
[I think we mentioned this story in Bizarre News a couple
weeks ago. I would have made more out of the story if I
weren't of the belief that most teens could benefit from
spending a little time behind bars.]

Lewis, even those of us who already know this fact about
Boris Karloff think those who feel the need to point it out
are self-important, pompous dweebs. -Lisa

I can see it now, get stopped by the police and when they
ask “Have you been drinking tonight?” you just say “No,
that is my bath soap.” Keep them coming. -Sammy.
[And I wasn't smoking opium I just had a lot of poppyseed
muffins.]

—————— END OF READER COMMENTS ——————

Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: mailto:lewis@gophercentral.com

I’d like to ask you a question. Have you ever had an office
romance? 25 years ago this kind of thing was frowned upon and
discouraged. But with both men and women pursuing full-time
careers the office has become the first, best place to look
for a little companionship. And companies are taking a more
tolerant view of it. How can they afford not to? Practically
half of their work force is sleeping with the other half.

But this hasn’t come without consequences. Vulnerability to
lawsuits, employee turnover and serious workplace confron-
tations are just some of the problems facing companies with
a young, horny workforce, according to John A. Challenger,
chief executive officer of Chicago’s global outplacement
firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas.

But that doesn’t mean the trend is going to reverse. In fact
it will probably only increase. I’ve even seen it happen
right here in our very own GopherCentral.com offices. And
that leads me to our new poll. Have you ever had an office
romance? Drop me an email and let me know…and don’t skimp
on the intimate details!

And by the way, no, it wasn’t who was goofing around at the
office.

Bizarrely,

Lewis

————————————————————

+————- Bizarre Holidays For November ————–+

November 21 is World Hello Day and False Confessions Day

November 22 is Start Your Own Country Day

November 23 is National Cashew Day

November 24 is Use Even If Seal Is Broken Day

November 25 is National Parfait Day

November 26 is Shopping Reminder Day

November 27 is Pins And Needles Day

November 28 is Make Your Own Head Day

November 29 is Square Dance Day

November 30 is Stay At Home Because You’re Well Day

***

——- Couple arrested for sex at Bills-Jets game ——–

ORCHARD PARK, N.Y. – Security officers at Ralph Wilson
Stadium in Orchard Park, N.Y., said a reported disturb-
ance in a ladies’ restroom turned out to be a couple
having sex. Police said Alicia Venneman, 29, was charged
with disorderly conduct and her boyfriend, Jeramy Kemper,
31, was charged with trespassing and resisting arrest
after they were caught having sex in the women’s bathroom
across from Section 336 of the stadium during Sunday’s
game between the Buffalo Bills and the New York Jets,
The Buffalo (N.Y.) News reported Wednesday. “This was
inappropriate behavior in public,” Scott Berchtold, Bills
vice president of communications, said. “Our security
staff reacted accordingly, and law enforcement officials
were called in to handle the situation.” Orchard Park
police and Erie County sheriff’s deputies said 37 arrests
were made before, during and after the game. Law enforce-
ment officials said it was well above the average number
of arrests made surrounding a Bills home game.

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————————————————————

———- Farmer blames balloons for hen deaths ———–

HEREFORD, England – A farmer in England’s Herefordshire
county says low-flying hot-air balloons caused 30 of her
hens to die after their eggs exploded inside of them. Abbi
Vincent-Lloyd said the stress of seeing gigantic hot-air
balloons over their heads led the hens to run for shelter
in a panicked state that caused them to bump into one
another and rupture the eggs inside of them, The Daily
Telegraph reported Wednesday. Vincent-Lloyd said post-
mortems performed on the hens found they died of
peritonitis, an infection caused by their eggs bursting
inside their bodies. “I had lost about 15 birds when I
decided to have the vet do a post mortem on two of them,”
the farmer said. “I told the vet about the hot-air balloons
and jets flying low over the farm and straight away he said
that was the cause.” “As soon as the gas is released to
raise the balloon they go absolutely crazy,” she said.
“It is absolute chaos, when they go into anything and that
causes the egg to explode inside them. The fragments of the
egg and its contents then infect them and then they die
from it — it’s a horrible way to go.”

———- Dogs predicted U.S. election outcome ———–

COLD SPRING HARBOR, N.Y. – Organizers of a Cold Spring
Harbor, N.Y., costume party for dogs and their owners said
canines predicted the outcome of the U.S. presidential
election. The organizers of Howl-ween, also known as
Corky’s Canine Costume Party, said hundreds of dogs
participated in the “Bark the Vote” election and cast
ballots in the form of barking for Democrat Barack Obama
and Republican John McCain. Corky Nightingale, who oversaw
the barking election, said the dogs made the same choice
that their human counterparts would make a few days later
– the vote went to President-elect Barack Obama. “We feel
it was a fair contest between the two candidates. Voter
turnout was unprecedented,” Nightingale said. “We patiently
awaited results this evening to see if our votes had any
influence on the final outcome of the election. We are
proud to know our barks were heard throughout the nation,”
she continued. Howl-ween is held annually to raise funds
for rescue dogs and other canine causes. This year’s party
also included a costume parade through the town of Cold
Spring Harbor.

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————————————————————

———– Boy charged after chip bag ripped ————-

STOCKHOLM, Sweden – Swedish prosecutors have brought
charges against a 15-year-old boy accused of ripping
another boy’s bag of chips. The teenager allegedly tore
open the bag, spilling its contents onto the ground,
while trying to snatch the chips out of the other boy’s
hands, The Local reported Wednesday. Authorities said
the owner of the chips then made a comment that led a
14-year-old friend of a suspect to punch and kick the
alleged victim. However, the accused attacker is too
young to be charged under Swedish law. The 15-year-old
was charged with unlawful dispossession due to the
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————————————————————

Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here…F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored

————————————————————

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I’m far from being a prude but was printing the reader comment
about semen and silk flowers necessary?
[Yes. Absolutely. A lot of people don't know just how difficult
it is to get semen stains out of silk flowers.]

Lewis, I’ve subscribed to your newsletter from work for two
years. Now I quit and am sort of a “homemaker” in a way. I
just got DSL hooked up and have an extra bill to pay now.
Is there any way that I could make just enough a month to
pay for the DSL from home with my computer? How is it done?
I’m way up in Montana in the boonies, don’t know if that
makes a difference. let me know if you can. Thanks, Babz
[There's always web porn.]

Lewis, I think I am offended because you haven’t offended
me. Please let me know if I am offended or not so I can
wine and please, don’t send me any picks of your boobs!
–Straight man
[Why would you want pics of TZ and Jethro?]

I get so sick of people blowing smoke up your ass! The reader
commits are BS! BN is ok but it isnt the second coming!
Gesus people!! –Joey
[A second coming hasn't happened since the wife and I took a
second honeymoon two years ago.]

Lewis, Actually, Moller has been trying to develop a flying
car since the 60s. Their first attempt, creatively named the
Moller AirCar, was so heavy that it could only get airborne
if there were no passengers. Even then, it could only achieve
an altitude of about 10 feet. I don’t think they’re going to
get a Ferrari airborne any time soon.
[I could get a Ferrari airborne easily with enough explosives.]

Today is Election Day, folks (I’m writing this yesterday
as you might imagine), and already there are some bizarre
stories appearing on the Internet.

At a voting station in Philadelphia there was a report of
two men dressed in Black Panther gear (the organization
started in the sixties to promote black power, rights and
racial safety and defense) standing in front of the doors
and wielding billy clubs.

While their intent was unclear, according to the story I
saw, a witness at the scene did tell a reporter that one
of the Panthers told him that, ‘a black man is going to
win this election no matter what.’

That’s not the kind of thing you normally see during an
election. At least that’s not the kind of thing I normally
see during an election. And while I would love to sit
around all afternoon and continue to watch the election
news coming in, I have to get out to the polls myself
before my voting location is blockaded by a bunch of senior
citizens brandishing canes and walkers who are determined
that a septuagenarian is going to win this election no
matter what.

Bizarrely,

Lewis

————————————————————

+————- Bizarre Holidays For November ————–+

November 11 is Air Day

November 12 is National Pizza With The Works Except
Anchovies Day

November 13 is National Indian Pudding Day

November 14 is Operation Room Nurse Day

November 15 is National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day

November 16 is Button Day

November 17 is Take A Hike Day

November 18 is Occult Day

November 19 is Have A Bad Day Day

November 20 is Absurdity Day

***

——- Police: Man gave wine to trick-or-treaters ——–

GOTENE, Sweden – Police in Gotene, Sweden, said they
arrested a man who allegedly tried to give alcohol to
two trick-or-treaters then poured wine over them.
Investigators said the man, who was described as in his
40s, invited the two 11- and 12-year-old children into
his home while they were trick-or-treating on Halloween
and offered them what he claimed was non-alcoholic wine,
The Local reported Monday. However, the children spat
out the drinks, which police said were a mixture of
wine and liquor, and the man then allegedly poured wine
all over the children and their bags of treats. Police
said the man was charged with harassment. “He has
confessed and blamed it on the fact that he was drunk,”
police spokesman Jerry Nyberg told Swedish news agency TT.

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————————————————————

——— Man claims attack by priest, two nuns ———–

RUTINO, Italy – A Rutino, Italy, restaurateur claims he was
brutally beaten by a priest and two nuns after a dispute
about the lease on the property. The alleged victim,
identified as A.E., 49, said he rushed into his establish-
ment after hearing the three clergy were trashing the
restaurant and during the ensuing confrontation the priest
struck him with a chair and the two nuns — who their
lawyers said have “a combined age of 160″ — kicked him
in the stomach, ANSA reported Monday. A.E. was hospitalized
with injuries to his neck and abdomen, doctors said. “I
came down to try to calm things down but the priest hit
me with a chair and I ended up on the floor. Then the two
sisters started kicking me, insulting me with unrepeatable
words,” the restaurant owner said. Lawyers for the accused
denied the assault and said the restaurateur was embroiled
in a dispute with the local convent of the Disciples of
Saint Teresa, which owns the building. The priest
reportedly was recruited to help the nuns convince A.E.
to give up his lease on the property, ANSA said. “That
establishment was occupied illegally,” a lawyer for the
accused said.

——— Calif. company developing flying car ———–

SACRAMENTO – A California company says it’s working on a
flying car that would lift drivers above idling rush-hour
traffic with the flick of a switch. Moller International
of Sacramento, Calif., is modifying a Ferrari 599 GTB,
outfitting it with retractable wings, eight mounted engines
and a battery-powered booster that would enable it to soar
as high as 2,500 feet in the air, the New York Daily News
reported Tuesday. Called the Autovolantor, the idea was
suggested by a wealthy Russian investor and is being
developed into a $3 million prototype, said Bruce Calkins,
general manager of the company. “At first, we were very
skeptical,” Paul Moller, the company’s chairman, told the
Daily News, but added that after initial testing, “We were
surprised by how practical it became.” Moller has a back-
ground developing vertical takeoff and landing aircraft,
the newspaper said.

————————————————————
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————————————————————

———– New ring advertises single status ————

MONTREAL – A French-Canadian entrepreneur near Montreal
is marketing specially designed rings that advertise the
wearer is single and approachable. Jean Thibodeau, 43,
told The Gazette newspaper in Montreal the ring makes
sense in Quebec’s society, where marriage is becoming more
scarce in favor of common-law relationships. Thibodeau’s
rings, made in Hong Kong, are stainless-steel adorned with
a metallic-blue paint stripe, the newspaper said. They
sell for $39.95 in 12 stores in northern Montreal suburbs.
Thibodeau said he plans on gradual expansion further into
the province. A saleswoman at one of the stores selling
the rings said about three rings are sold each day, mostly
to women. Quebec’s statistical agency backs up Thibodeau’s
observation on marriage — only one quarter of men and a
third of women can expect to marry in their lifetime in
the province, down from near nine in 10 men and women in
1966. The report didn’t specify on which, if any particular
finger the ring is worn.

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————————————————————

Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here…F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored

————————————————————

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

What is it with you guys, anyway? Is it just a reflex to
pee or cum rather than talk? My ex-boyfriend shot his cum
all over my coffee table when I refused to have sex with
him for the 4th time in one day, then he stomped out. Have
you any idea how hard it is to get semen stains out of silk
flower arrangements?? Think, men. Talk. Our vaginas may
be closed but our ears are open. -Chris Carlson
[Kind of difficult since most men communicate with women
most readily with their penes.]

The airplane story gives a whole new meaning to, “getting
a little bit of tale.” LOL! Hope you are having a great
day, Marv
[That's one mile-high club I'd rather not belong to.]

Hey Lewis, I’ve been a reader off and on for a few years
now. I’m currently in Iraq serving in the U.S. Army. I just
wanted to say “Thank You” for your newsletter because I
look forward to every issue. It’s boring and tedious over
here so it’s nice to get some humor into my day. Everyone
keeps asking me “Where do you get this stuff?” I just smile
and say “It’s G-14 Classified!” Thank you for brightening
my days. -HAT
[Thanks for reading and Go Army!]

Lewis, I read somewhere that a local dentist in my home
state was arrested for molesting female patients while
they were under anesthesia..He was charged with trying to
fill the wrong cavity! -Steven
[Bad. Just bad.]

Hi Lewis, Isn’t it odd how we can make gross stereotypical
observations about certain professions such as lawyers
(“most lawyers are just a free clinic visit away from being
whores anyway”) that we would never get away with regarding
ethnic groups or people of certain gender, national origin
or religious persuasion. Politicians, phone solicitors,
paparrazzi and weathermen are just a few others that come
to mind that seem to be constantly in season. It’s good that
we can have these outlets. I wonder if bloggers will one day
have this distinction? -Gary

See if you can follow this logic.

A 36-year-old Wisconsin man took revenge on his roommate
after she refused to have sex with him by allegedly
urinating on her dog, police said. Police said the man
was arrested early Thursday morning on tentative charges
of criminal damage to property and disorderly conduct
related to domestic violence.

According to police reports, the man was drunk when he
argued with the woman. After she resisted his advances
the man went to the basement where he urinated on her dog
and the floor.

Police said the argument continued, and when the woman’s
sister stood up in defense the man pushed her into a wall.
He then allegedly stormed from the home and punched out a
window. How much do you want to bet alcohol was involved?

Bizarrely,

Lewis

————————————————————

+————- Bizarre Holidays For November ————–+

November 1 is Plan Your Epitaph Day

November 2 is National Deviled Egg Day

November 3 is Sandwich Day and Housewife’s Day

November 4 is Waiting For The Barbarians Day

November 5 is Gunpowder Day

November 6 is Saxophone Day and Marooned Without A Compass
Day

November 7 is National Bittersweet Chocolate With Almonds
Day

November 8 is Dunce Day

November 9 is Chaos Never Dies Day

November 10 is Forget-Me-Not Day

***

——- Police: Man ended lengthy chase in comfort ——–

BOCA RATON, Fla. – A man who led police officers on
a lengthy chase at high speeds through three Florida
counties ended the chase sitting in a patio chair,
police allege. Police alleged after officers chased the
man, whose identity wasn’t released, from Miami to Palm
Beach County on suspicion of robbery, the man suddenly
pulled into a driveway and sat in a nearby patio chair
to await capture, The Miami Herald reported. Police
officers hot on the man’s trail quickly arrested the
relaxing suspect Wednesday on charges related to two
robberies in Miami. Portions of the high-speed chase
that ended in Boca Raton, Fla., were captured by area
TV stations.

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——— 14,000 pub visits earn men world record ———-

BIRMINGHAM, England – Four British men now own the record
for the world’s longest pub crawl after visiting 14,000
different pubs, one of the new record holders says. West
Bromwich resident Peter Hill said he visited a record
14,000 different pubs in Britain and the Republic of
Ireland since 1984 with his friends John Drew, Karl Bradley
and Joe Hill, The Daily Telegraph said. The 52-year-old
said when the four men first began their pub crawl more
than two decades ago, it was just for “a bit of fun.” “It
turned from being a bit of fun to a serious hobby,” Hill
said. “We have raised thousands of pounds for local
hospitals though which has made it all worthwhile.” After
officially earning a spot in the Guinness Book of Records
last week, the foursome’s lengthy bar tab showed they
bought an estimated 84,000 pints of ale. Hill told the
Telegraph that his drinking group had once been made up of
20 participants, but marriages helped thin the herd to the
final four record holders.

——– Woman guilty of one-eyed drunken driving ———

OREBRO, Sweden – A woman in central Sweden who alleged
she drove with one eye closed to avoid double vision is
guilty of drunken driving, a court has ruled. A court has
convicted the woman, whose identity wasn’t revealed, on
drunken driving charges after she told police she had been
driving with one eye closed to counteract seeing double
while intoxicated, The Local said. The incident occurred
last summer near Osternarke, Sweden, when police attempted
to pull the woman over for alleged erratic driving. Police
claimed the woman’s vehicle was swerving across all lanes
on the road. The woman then didn’t pull over for the police
in pursuit for nearly 2 miles, police said. The Local said
it was then the woman offered her one-eyed defense for her
illegal blood-alcohol level while driving, a motion than
helped earn her a two-month prison sentence during a later
court date.

————————————————————
LitterMaid Air Cleaner
Keep Air Around The Litter Box Fresh & Clean…

Retail Price: $29.99
DEAL PRICE: $9.99
Get Two for $15.98

This is one of those deals that I am still amazed we got.
The retail on this is $29.99 and we’re selling it for
$9.99.

Yep, you read it correctly… $9.99. It’s the LitterMaid
Air Cleaner and I remember seeing these advertised in a
well-known catalog for $29.99 (I’ve actually seen it for
more in stores).

The LitterMaid Air Cleaner is a continuous fan that easily
attaches to the litter box. Its consistent action filters
odors to make the air around the litter box fresh and
clean. It is absolutely fragrance-free as it works to
absorb odor instead of masking.

It just needs to be clamped on the litter box and plugged
in to be able to operate it for 24 hours a day.

Grab one for $9.99 or get two for $15.98. One thing, this
low price ensures they will sell out fast. Don’t wait.
LitterMaid Air Cleaner
————————————————————

————– Man’s dog gets card to vote —————-

ALBUQUERQUE – An Albuquerque man said he was shocked to
receive a voter registration card for his dog after he
jokingly filled out a form at Wal-Mart. Don Pizzolato said
he filled out a voter registration form for his dog, Tuckup
Koepke, with a phony birth date and Social Security number,
the Albuquerque Journal reported. However, Pizzolato said
he never expected the form to result in an actual voter
registration for his dog. He received a card for the canine
only weeks after filling out the form. “I fully expected
the form to be returned to me,” Pizzolato said. He said he
feared the situation was symptomatic of a larger problem
that could lead to voter fraud. “I just have one data
point to go off of, but in my opinion, if it’s this easy to
thwart the system, I’m sure it’s not an isolated case,” he
said. Pizzolato said Tuckup Koepke will not be voting in
the upcoming election. County Clerk Maggie Toulouse Oliver
contacted law enforcement officials after reading about the
matter on a Web site. Voter registration fraud is a fourth-
degree felony in New Mexico, the Journal said.

————————————————————
HIGH INTENSITY GREEN LASER POINTER

Retail Price: $79.99
YOUR PRICE: $39.99
Get Two for $69.98

This pointer is significantly brighter (about 50 times)
than a red laser pointer and because of its unusual
color it is much more noticeable. And unlike a red laser,
the green beam itself can be seen in mid-air in dark
conditions, not just the laser beam dot. This allows the
green laser pointer to be used for pointing to star
constellations (skypointing) and also just generally
look… cool as hell!

You can be confident your laser will shine a constant
beam up to 2 miles with visibility that far exceeds that
of your typical red laser.

This Green Laser Pointer has so many features that we can’t
list them all. I will say that it is durable… solid,
heavy duty construction, comes with a nice carrying case
and YES, batteries ARE included.

Save even more when you buy two. Get one for $39.99 or
get two (2) for $69.98. To see this, get a full list of
features or to order, visit:
HIGH INTENSITY GREEN LASER POINTER
————————————————————

Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here…F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored

————————————————————

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

uhhh… LEWIS… I think the “Sex on the Beach” (in last
week’s comment) was referring to the COCKTAIL! -Janet
[Or cock and tail.]

Hey Lewis, unless there’s been a major earthquake that I
missed, Alton Illinois is on the Mississippi River –Don
[Sorry. You are correct, sir.]

Hey Lewis! I am writing today to share a funny with you.
My Mother and step-dad were camp hosts at a campground in
Mid-Missouri, right on the MO river. About once a week
they’d get some yahoo asking if they could, or bragging
they were going to, eat the fish that they catch out of
the MO River. Mom would just grin and say, “You can, but
I wouldn’t recommend it”… I think it’s funny that they
have NO clue that the areas further up-river dump EVERY-
THING into the river… gee, why does this water taste
funny!? anyway… Thanks for all the chuckles. ~~Still
live by the Mucky-MO River, but, I don’t eat the fish, or
swim in it! -Shella

Lewis, How often does Bizarre news come out? it always seems
like I’m missing something based on the reader comments. I
received one on 10/10 and again on 10/29 did one come out
between? -Steve
[I think you're having issues with Yahoo. Bizarre News mails
twice a week...plus the video issue. Write an email to Yahoo
customer service and complain. You need your Bizarre!]