Greetings fellow Bizarros:

I’d like to ask you a question. Have you ever had an office
romance? 25 years ago this kind of thing was frowned upon and
discouraged. But with both men and women pursuing full-time
careers the office has become the first, best place to look
for a little companionship. And companies are taking a more
tolerant view of it. How can they afford not to? Practically
half of their work force is sleeping with the other half.

But this hasn’t come without consequences. Vulnerability to
lawsuits, employee turnover and serious workplace confron-
tations are just some of the problems facing companies with
a young, horny workforce, according to John A. Challenger,
chief executive officer of Chicago’s global outplacement
firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas.

But that doesn’t mean the trend is going to reverse. In fact
it will probably only increase. I’ve even seen it happen
right here in our very own GopherCentral.com offices. And
that leads me to our new poll. Have you ever had an office
romance? Drop me an email and let me know…and don’t skimp
on the intimate details!

And by the way, no, it wasn’t who was goofing around at the
office.

Bizarrely,

Lewis

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+————- Bizarre Holidays For November ————–+

November 21 is World Hello Day and False Confessions Day

November 22 is Start Your Own Country Day

November 23 is National Cashew Day

November 24 is Use Even If Seal Is Broken Day

November 25 is National Parfait Day

November 26 is Shopping Reminder Day

November 27 is Pins And Needles Day

November 28 is Make Your Own Head Day

November 29 is Square Dance Day

November 30 is Stay At Home Because You’re Well Day

***

——- Couple arrested for sex at Bills-Jets game ——–

ORCHARD PARK, N.Y. – Security officers at Ralph Wilson
Stadium in Orchard Park, N.Y., said a reported disturb-
ance in a ladies’ restroom turned out to be a couple
having sex. Police said Alicia Venneman, 29, was charged
with disorderly conduct and her boyfriend, Jeramy Kemper,
31, was charged with trespassing and resisting arrest
after they were caught having sex in the women’s bathroom
across from Section 336 of the stadium during Sunday’s
game between the Buffalo Bills and the New York Jets,
The Buffalo (N.Y.) News reported Wednesday. “This was
inappropriate behavior in public,” Scott Berchtold, Bills
vice president of communications, said. “Our security
staff reacted accordingly, and law enforcement officials
were called in to handle the situation.” Orchard Park
police and Erie County sheriff’s deputies said 37 arrests
were made before, during and after the game. Law enforce-
ment officials said it was well above the average number
of arrests made surrounding a Bills home game.

————————————————————
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————————————————————

———- Farmer blames balloons for hen deaths ———–

HEREFORD, England – A farmer in England’s Herefordshire
county says low-flying hot-air balloons caused 30 of her
hens to die after their eggs exploded inside of them. Abbi
Vincent-Lloyd said the stress of seeing gigantic hot-air
balloons over their heads led the hens to run for shelter
in a panicked state that caused them to bump into one
another and rupture the eggs inside of them, The Daily
Telegraph reported Wednesday. Vincent-Lloyd said post-
mortems performed on the hens found they died of
peritonitis, an infection caused by their eggs bursting
inside their bodies. “I had lost about 15 birds when I
decided to have the vet do a post mortem on two of them,”
the farmer said. “I told the vet about the hot-air balloons
and jets flying low over the farm and straight away he said
that was the cause.” “As soon as the gas is released to
raise the balloon they go absolutely crazy,” she said.
“It is absolute chaos, when they go into anything and that
causes the egg to explode inside them. The fragments of the
egg and its contents then infect them and then they die
from it — it’s a horrible way to go.”

———- Dogs predicted U.S. election outcome ———–

COLD SPRING HARBOR, N.Y. – Organizers of a Cold Spring
Harbor, N.Y., costume party for dogs and their owners said
canines predicted the outcome of the U.S. presidential
election. The organizers of Howl-ween, also known as
Corky’s Canine Costume Party, said hundreds of dogs
participated in the “Bark the Vote” election and cast
ballots in the form of barking for Democrat Barack Obama
and Republican John McCain. Corky Nightingale, who oversaw
the barking election, said the dogs made the same choice
that their human counterparts would make a few days later
– the vote went to President-elect Barack Obama. “We feel
it was a fair contest between the two candidates. Voter
turnout was unprecedented,” Nightingale said. “We patiently
awaited results this evening to see if our votes had any
influence on the final outcome of the election. We are
proud to know our barks were heard throughout the nation,”
she continued. Howl-ween is held annually to raise funds
for rescue dogs and other canine causes. This year’s party
also included a costume parade through the town of Cold
Spring Harbor.

————————————————————
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————————————————————

———– Boy charged after chip bag ripped ————-

STOCKHOLM, Sweden – Swedish prosecutors have brought
charges against a 15-year-old boy accused of ripping
another boy’s bag of chips. The teenager allegedly tore
open the bag, spilling its contents onto the ground,
while trying to snatch the chips out of the other boy’s
hands, The Local reported Wednesday. Authorities said
the owner of the chips then made a comment that led a
14-year-old friend of a suspect to punch and kick the
alleged victim. However, the accused attacker is too
young to be charged under Swedish law. The 15-year-old
was charged with unlawful dispossession due to the
spilled chips and could face up to six months in prison
if he is convicted. Prosecutors said the boy’s trial will
also deal with charges of vandalism and theft of a pack
of cigarettes in two separate incidents.

————————————————————
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————————————————————

Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here…F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored

————————————————————

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I’m far from being a prude but was printing the reader comment
about semen and silk flowers necessary?
[Yes. Absolutely. A lot of people don't know just how difficult
it is to get semen stains out of silk flowers.]

Lewis, I’ve subscribed to your newsletter from work for two
years. Now I quit and am sort of a “homemaker” in a way. I
just got DSL hooked up and have an extra bill to pay now.
Is there any way that I could make just enough a month to
pay for the DSL from home with my computer? How is it done?
I’m way up in Montana in the boonies, don’t know if that
makes a difference. let me know if you can. Thanks, Babz
[There's always web porn.]

Lewis, I think I am offended because you haven’t offended
me. Please let me know if I am offended or not so I can
wine and please, don’t send me any picks of your boobs!
–Straight man
[Why would you want pics of TZ and Jethro?]

I get so sick of people blowing smoke up your ass! The reader
commits are BS! BN is ok but it isnt the second coming!
Gesus people!! –Joey
[A second coming hasn't happened since the wife and I took a
second honeymoon two years ago.]

Lewis, Actually, Moller has been trying to develop a flying
car since the 60s. Their first attempt, creatively named the
Moller AirCar, was so heavy that it could only get airborne
if there were no passengers. Even then, it could only achieve
an altitude of about 10 feet. I don’t think they’re going to
get a Ferrari airborne any time soon.
[I could get a Ferrari airborne easily with enough explosives.]