Greetings fellow Bizarros:

I am sure most of you have heard this story by now. Yesterday
the backup Air Force One and a jet fighter that appeared to
be pursuing it appeared low over the skyline of New York City.

The planes flew over the Verrazano Bridge, buzzed The Statue
of Liberty, continued up the Hudson past Jersey City and then
circled back toward Staten Island for two more loops.

At barely a thousand feet up you can imagine they caused quite
a stir. Several buildings were actually evacuated and there
were people running in the streets! But as it turned out, the
planes were on a mission from the White House to take publicity
photos of the presidential plane with a New York backdrop.

While this story is bizarre enough as it is, stop to consider
the fact that all of this was done for publicity photos. How
much do you think it costs to maintain and fly one of those
planes. Aren’t there enough photos of Air Force One? It is
only the most photographed plane in the world.

This is a perfect example of the federal government just not
giving a shit any more. And I’m not specifically throwing
stones at Obama either. I found an article on Reader’s Digest
that had some very interesting numbers.

Consider…the controversial U.S. farm subsidy program, part
of which pays farmers not to grow crops, has become a giant
welfare program for the rich, one that cost taxpayers nearly
$20 billion last year. How old is that program? And do you
know who some of the biggest beneficiaries are? Try Kenneth
Lay (formerly of Enron (and this world)) and Ted Turner! Not
exactly the people who you think of as destitute farmers.

How about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan? According to Sen.
Amy Klobuchar, D-MN, one in six federal tax dollars sent to
rebuild Iraq has been wasted. Meanwhile, the Pentagon admits
it simply can’t account for more than $1 trillion. Little
wonder, since the DOD hasn’t been fully audited in years.

So considering these numbers it is not surprising that the
White House office thinks nothing of blowing hundreds of
thousands of dollars for a few new file photos of Air Force
One.

Bizarrely,

Lewis

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+—————– Bizarre May Holidays ——————+

May 1 is Mother Goose Day and Save The Rhino Day

May 2 is Fire Day

May 3 is Lumpy Rug Day

May 4 is National Candied Orange Peel Day

May 5 is National Hoagie Day

May 6 is Beverage Day

May 7 is International Tuba Day, Paste Up Day, and
National Roast Leg of Lamb Day

May 8 is No Socks Day and Have A Coke Day

May 9 is Lost Sock Memorial Day

May 10 is Clean Up Your Room Day

***

———– Wife: Bank told hubby about account ————

NEW YORK – A New York woman has sued her bank for letting
slip to her husband that she had $800,000 in an account
in her own name. Nazita Aminpour, a dentist, says in legal
papers that the Chase bank branch in Kew Gardens, Queens,
violated federal privacy laws, the New York Post reports.
She said her husband, David Shamash, nagged her about the
money until she gave him $155,000 in March 2008 to save
her marriage. The couple had a joint account at the branch
along with custodial accounts for their children. But
Shamash was not aware that Aminpour had a large account
in her own name until a bank employee called him and
suggested that the money be moved out of a low-interest
account to something with a higher return. Aminpour wants
Chase to reimburse the $155,000 and to pay her legal
bills. A bank statement included in the lawsuit filing
shows she now has more than $1 million in the account,
the report said.

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——- Ball protest bounces wrong way for Italian ——–

ROME – A man received an eight-month suspended jail
sentence Monday for rolling a half million or so colored
balls down Rome’s famed Spanish Steps. Graziano Cecchini,
54, was convicted of disrupting bus services with his
January 2008 stunt, which he described as a protest against
dishonest politicians of all parties, ANSA reported.
Cecchini criticized the outcome of his trial, the Italian
news agency said. “What sort of interruption of service
could there possibly have been? The Piazza di Spagna
(Spanish Steps) is a pedestrian area. There wasn’t any
crime, only a pop-art event,” he said. Vittorio Sgarbi,
a prominent Italian art critic and former culture chief
of Milan, praised Cecchini’s effort, saying “anarchy is
a typical feature of contemporary art.”

———— Fire starts with spider chase ————-

PORTSMOUTH, England – British firefighters say a man set
fire to the front of his house trying to kill a spider
with a lighter. Firefighters said they arrived at the
Portsmouth, England, home and found the man attempting
to put out the flames with a garden hose, The Daily
Telegraph reported. “The whole thing had clearly scared
the life out of him,” watch manager Steve Pearce said.
“There was a gap in the cladding where he was trying to
kill the spider and so the sparks got through to the
material behind and started spreading upward toward the
roof.” Pearce said firefighters spent about two hours
extinguishing the blaze. “Surprisingly there wasn’t much
damage to the house other than to the cladding,” he said.
“We obviously had a chat with the man but I don’t think
he’ll be doing this again.”

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——– Deputy quits after wife takes patrol car ———-

LAKELAND, Fla. – A Polk County, Fla., deputy with 21 years
service resigned after his wife, a convicted felon, took
his patrol car for a spin, sheriff’s officials said. Deputy
Charles Buckner, 44, turned in his badge after his wife,
Gail Buckner, 38, allegedly used the car for a joy ride in
Lakeland with her mother, Sharon Cooper, 54, and a friend,
Alexander James Quintasket, 19, also a convicted a felon,
The Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel reported Tuesday. The two women
were charged with vehicle theft, theft of a firearm and
impersonating a law-enforcement officer, arrest documents
said. Gail Buckner also faces charges of being a convicted
felon in possession of a firearm. Quintasket was arrested
on similar charges. The three were arrested Sunday after
another sheriff’s deputy spotted the patrol car driving
erratically and followed it to the Buckner home, the
Sentinel reported, adding no information was immediately
available on Gail Buckner and Quintasket’s convictions.

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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I wanted to comment on the waiter who stole $186. What I
wanted to know was what kind of pizza do they sell tht two
orders would cost $96? -Cel
[Just like at any restaurant it's not usually the food, it's
the drinks that get you. Of course, that would be a lot of
beer...but maybe they were alcoholics.]

The difference between art and porn is how good it is! -Bear
[I have masturbated to Botticelli before.]

I read the Bizzare News every morning with my coffee, and
it starts my day out right, because I am learning something
new every day and the are good for a laugh. –Shirley

Lewis: I just watched with water as fuel clip on EVTV1 and
I’d like to point out that while the new technique may be
more efficient, the laws of thermodynamics dictate that
combining hydrogen and oxygen will ALWAYS yield less energy
than the amount used to separate them in the first place.
Water can never be a _source_ of chemical energy. There’s
so much junk science out there that the assumption is never
safe. -Richard
[Seventy years ago it was inconceivable that you could get
the amount of energy we do out of nuclear reactors just
from a few lumps of metal. Who knows what miracles are
waiting to be discovered. And there had better be a miracle
waiting to be discovered because the world needs an energy
revolution, and we're running out of time for finding one.]

Lewis, did you see this one? In Benton City, WA, an intox-
icated man was resisting arrest, and was tazered by the
police. When he went down, he hit his head on the ground.
They then sent him to one of the best hospitals in the
state to take care of him. Why is a criminal getting better
healthcare for resisting arrest, then the rest of us do for
following the laws, o rat least not getting caught?
[I agree. What ever happened to the good old days of police
baton beatings?]

—————— END OF READER COMMENTS ——————