Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Here is one from the crime blotter at dallasnews.com. It is
situations like this that will really tell you who your
friends are. While I have very few friends whom I would trust
with $20,000, apparently the woman in this story doesn’t
have any friends she can trust with that kind of money.

A Fort Worth woman says she won $20,000 on a scratch-off
lottery ticket but was left empty-handed when a friend took
the winning ticket.

The woman, 34-year-old Nancy Charlez, told police she gave
the winning ticket to a friend to take to a nearby gas station
so she could see if it really was a $20,000 winner. That is
odd to begin with, but maybe she was too nervous to go herself.

When the friend returned, according to Charlez, she claimed
that a man in a white pickup had taken the winning ticket
from her. Although she did not explain the bulging, white
bank envelope stuffed in her coat pocket.

“It’s a bunch of bull,” Charlez said. Fort Worth police and
the Texas Lottery Commission are investigating.

Bizarrely,

Lewis

————————————————————

+————— Bizarre Sporting Failures —————+

Wallace Williams ran in the 1979 Pan-American Games
marathon, but was so slow that by the time he reached
the stadium it was locked and everyone had left.

To fight the heat in the 1950 Tour de France, Abd-El Kader
Zaag drank a bottle of wine and promptly fell off his bike.
After sleeping it off by the side of the road, he got back
on and rode off – in the wrong direction.

Russian athlete Ivanon Vyacheslav was so excited to win
a medal at the 1956 Melbourne Olympics that he threw the
medal high into the air in jubilation. Unfortunately it
landed in Lake Wendouree where, despite a frantic search,
it remains to this day.

Preparing for a bout at the 1992 New York Golden Gloves
Championships, boxer Daniel Caruso psyched himself up by
pounding his gloves into his face. In doing so, he broke
his nose and was declared unfit to box.

After beating 1,000 rivals in a 500-mile race, Percy the
racing pigeon flopped down exhausted in his Sheffield loft
and was promptly eaten by a cat.

***

———— Space alien initiative on hold ————–

DENVER – A Denver man said he has temporarily shelved his
plans for a ballot initiative to create a commission to
deal with extraterrestrial beings visiting Earth. Jeff
Peckman, who proposed the creation of an Extraterrestrial
Affairs Commission in Denver, said he will be in “wait-and-
see mode” for the next few months while he observes the
administration of President Barack Obama, the Rocky
Mountain News reported Thursday. “It’s on hold for now
because of the confidence that I feel and a lot of people
feel in the Obama administration in moving toward more
disclosure of the UFO/extraterrestrial information,”
Peckman said. “But I would say I’m only 51 percent
confident, so I’m not abandoning the ballot initiative.”

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————- Man pulled knife over chicken —————

FORT PIERCE, Fla. – Police in Florida said a man was
arrested after he allegedly pulled a knife on his brother
during an argument about chicken wings. Investigators
said Calvin Edwards, 48, of Fort Pierce was charged with
aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and battery after
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pulled a small pocket knife and threatened to cut him.”
The brother, who said he was injured when Edwards scratched
him on the wrist, said he backed down from the confront-
ation and called police. Police said they have not found
the knife.

——– Man sues after injured by stripper’s boot ———

AKRON, Ohio – An Ohio man claims in a lawsuit against a
strip club that he was struck in the face and injured by
a dancer’s discarded boot. Yusuf Evans, 37, said he was
at the XTC nightclub in Akron, Ohio, with some visiting
friends last year when a dancer using the stage name Tiara
kicked off her thick-heeled boot, which flew from the
stage and struck him in the nose, the Akron Beacon Journal
reported Thursday. Evans said doctors at a local hospital
treated his nose injury and told him he will likely need
surgery. “I got injured and I shouldn’t have gotten injured
just going out and trying to show somebody a good time,”
Evans said. “I have to live with this the rest of my life
probably.” Evans, who said the incident took place on his
very first visit to a strip club, is seeking $25,000
compensation for his injuries in the suit against the
nightclub and the dancer.

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——- Court rules ‘Q’ unacceptable as boy’s name ——–

OSTERSUND, Sweden – The letter Q may identify James Bond
and “Star Trek” characters, but it may not be used as a
boy’s name, a Swedish administrative appeals court ruled.
The unidentified couple said that their son responds to
the name and that no matter what official records say,
everyone knows him as Q, the Lanstidningen newspaper
reported. However, the Kammarratten appeals court, like
the Lansratten administrative court before it, rejected
the argument. The lower court had ruled the name failed
to satisfy basic linguistic requirements. The higher court
said Q is a letter of the alphabet not typically used as
a first name, so it should not be allowed. It cited
“relevant case law” that holds that letters are not
considered appropriate for names if the letters aren’t
already considered a name.

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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here…F-R-E-E..
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Uh, Lewis? I hate to break it to you, pal, but if you are
looking for “enlightened discussion” from your readers,
then I hope you aren’t holding your breath. That’s kind of
like expecting TZ to enter a seminary college, or Bubba
buying a home that doesn’t require wheels. I don’t think
any of it is going to happen any time soon. -Rob
[Have you ever heard that people who live in glass houses
shouldn't throw stones? Or don't you consider yourself a
Bizarre News reader?]

Lewis, Rachael Rae can shuck my corn any day! -Jon
[Careful! That's my wife look-alike you're talking about!]

This woman was shot several times by two employees, then
shot several more times by police. She finally subdued
and gave up her bow. What the hell?!? Who cares what
the lesson is… She’s still fricken’ alive!! How many
shots does it take to kill this bitch with a bow? -Lance
[I think the idea was that they shot AT her. The story
did not say exactly how many times she was hit.]

Can’t tell a bank from a water district office? The guy’s
not alone. A man came into the model train store once,
past our sign, the display window full of train stuff, the
operating train layout, then leaned on the glass counter
full of locomotives, and handed me the numbers of two
colours of paint. “These are automotive colors!” I said.
“Isn’t this a paint store?” he asked, looking around. How
do you answer a question like that?! -Wendy, Vancouver

Lewis, they can have my bow and arrows when they pry them
from my cold dead hands. If they outlaw bows and arrows,
only outlaws will have bows and arrows. -Chris

Dear Lewis, I am going to send you a bill for repairing my
computer because after I read your answer below, just as I
was taking a drink of coffee, I almost had coffee coming
out my nose I was laughing so hard. I love the part about
enlightened discussion. Yeah that’s what it’s called. I love
your newsletter keep ‘pissing people off’. -Mary
[Bizarre News nor its publisher assumes any liability for
damage done to equipment or persons while reading this
material!]