Greetings fellow Bizarros:

When you order your calzone from a Joe Pesci wanna-be and
it’s not what you ordered, maybe it’s better just to let
it go and just never go back to that restaurant. Or else
you might get a pistol-whipping. But unlike Pesci, the
‘Goomba’ in this story apparently doesn’t know how to whip
someone with a pistol!

Authorities in Florida said a pizzeria owner was arrested
after allegedly attacking two men who complained about a
mistaken calzone order.

A Flagler County sheriff’s report said Richard Phinney, 44,
called Goomba’s pizzeria in Palm Coast, Fla., to try to get
a replacement order for his daughter after the eatery failed
to heed his request that her calzone not include sauce and
feta cheese.

The father said a Goomba’s employee told him on the phone
that the eatery’s grills had been shut down for the night
so Phinney and his roommate, Richard Capie, 35, visited the
restaurant to try to get a refund.

Phinney said he and Capie were speaking to a manager outside
of the restaurant when owner Joseph Milano, 40, arrived and
invited the two men to come inside and discuss the situation.
However, he said that after speaking for a few minutes,
Milano pistol-whipped him with a gun he retrieved from behind
a counter.

Capie was able to grab the gun and he left with Phinney.

Investigators said surveillance camera footage from the
restaurant appears to confirm Phinney and Capie’s account.

Milano was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly
weapon and making crappy calzones.

Bizarrely,

Lewis

————————————————————

+————- More Bizarre February Holidays ————-+

February 11 is White Tee-Shirt Day and Don’t Cry Over
Spilled Milk Day

February 12 is National Plum Pudding Day

February 13 is Get A Different Name Day and Dream Your
Sweet Day

February 14 is Ferris Wheel Day and National Heart to
Heart Day

February 15 is National Gum Drop Day

February 16 is Do A Grouch A Favor Day

February 17 is Champion Crab Races Day

February 18 is National Battery Day

February 19 is National Chocolate Mint Day

February 20 is Hoodie Hoo Day

***

——— Pants picture led to burglar’s arrest ———–

WAKEFIELD, England – English police said they nabbed a
burglar after a teenage photography student snapped a
picture of the fleeing man’s distinctive pants. Shaun
Rimmer, 25, was sentenced to four years in jail after
he admitted to a string of car thefts and burglaries,
including the incident during the summer that led to
his arrest, The Daily Mail reported Monday. Police said
quick-thinking photography student Josh Kellett, 17, was
able to snap a photo of Rimmer’s distinctive out-of-style
track pants while the burglar was scaling a fence to
escape from his neighbor’s Wakefield yard. Police arrived
and arrested Rimmer during a search of the neighborhood
using Kellett’s picture to identify the culprit’s pants.
Rimmer’s accomplice, Anthony Booth, 31, is due to be
sentenced later this month. A Leeds Crown Court judge
awarded Kellett $214 for his contribution to the burglar’s
capture.

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——— Dropped phone sends man to crater’s edge ———

CRATER LAKE, Ore. – Rescue workers say a man who tried to
recover a dropped cell phone came within feet of plunging
off a cliff into Oregon’s icy Crater Lake. Kevin Harris,
26, of Arizona, was trying to recover a friend’s cell phone
that had fallen over the edge of the crater near the park’s
Rim Village, Greg Winfrey, a firefighter who helped rescue
Harris Saturday, told The (Portland) Oregonian. Harris
stepped onto ice covered with fresh snow and slid 200 feet
before he could stop himself. “If he hadn’t stopped where
he did — about 20 feet from the edge of the cliff — he
would have gone into the water and he might not be here
today,” Winfrey said to the newspaper. Harris, who is
stationed at the Oregon Air National Guard’s Kingsley Field
in Klamath Falls, was aided by park ski patrol members and
firefighters who rigged a rope system to haul Harris off
the rim, The Oregonian reported Monday. Harris was “scared,
cold and embarrassed” but suffered only minor injuries,
Winfrey said.

——– Some Bowl viewers see than illegal motion ———

TUCSON – Tucson residents saw more action than others in
the closing minutes of Super Bowl XLIII when an adult
movie clip interrupted the game. Officials at Comcast said
they don’t know why about 30 seconds that included full
male nudity from the adult cable television channel Club
Jenna was shown on the local Super Bowl broadcast, the
Arizona Daily Star reported Monday. The Star said its
received calls from viewers who said the porn interrupted
the game with less than 3 minutes to go, just after Arizona
Cardinals player Larry Fitzgerald scored on a touchdown
pass from Kurt Warner to put the team in the lead. On their
next possession, the Pittsburgh Steelers scored to win the
game, 27-23, for the Steeler’s unprecedented sixth bowl win.
Callers said that the clip showed a woman unzipping a man’s
pants, followed by a graphic act. “I just figured it was
another commercial until I looked up,” Cora King of Marana
told the newspaper. “Then he did his little dance with
everything hanging out.”

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————————————————————

——— Police: Uninvited sister attacked bride ———-

HEBRON, Ind. – Authorities in Indiana said they arrested
a woman who arrived uninvited at her sister’s wedding
reception and allegedly attacked the new bride. The Porter
County Sheriff’s Department said Annmarie Bricker, 23,
was charged with misdemeanor battery after she allegedly
arrived Friday at the home hosting the wedding reception
for her sister, Lori Kappes, and her husband, Nicholas
Landry, and pulled clumps of hair from the bride’s head,
The Northwest Indiana Times of Munster, Ind., reported
Monday. The victim told investigators that she was still
in her car when Bricker pulled up and began pounding on
her car window. Kappes said she attempted to walk inside
the house while ignoring her sister, who was not invited
to the reception, but Bricker allegedly attacked, pulling
her hair out and striking her in the head. Bricker, who
quit her job as a 911 dispatcher after the incident, told
police she had come to the reception because she “just
wanted to talk” about family problems with her sister and
parents. Bricker’s children, who were in her car at the
time of the incident, were turned over to their father
by police. Bricker could face up to a year in jail if
convicted.

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————————————————————

Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here…F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored

————————————————————

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Hi Lewis, your article about escaped prisoners was missing
an even better fact. The escape attempt was caught on CCTV
and broadcast on national TV. This means that the embarras-
ement of doing something this stupid was compounded 100x as
now your friends, family and fellow prisoners can all laugh
their heads off at your cock up. -Steve
[Those CCTV cameras are becoming so ubiquitous that people
hardly notice them any more, and that's not always a good
thing.]

Lewis: Remember, one can never make anything “Idiot-Proof”
because Idiots are so ingenious. -Bob.

always embelishing the bulge, are ya Lewis? -chris
[Wasn't that one of the more famous battles of World War II?]

seems like the Bizarre News is getting shorter, at least the
information is shorter, plenty of ads for crap, but less
actual ‘news’. -Janet
[Women always think a man's 'column' is shorter than it
actually is. Must be a perspective thing.]

Lewis, here’s one you might be interested in…many years
ago, while I was in nursing school, an extremely obese woman
came into the ER with abdominal pain. This lady was around
500 lbs. After quite a while the docs figured out she was in
labor! She thought she was going into menopause and it never
occurred to her she might be preggers. Unfortunately, the
fetus was dead. An X ray showed that her weight had crushed
it. It was delivered by C-section. They had to use 6 people
on retractors to get to the uterus.
[The mechanics of getting a 500 lb. woman pregnant in the
first place is mind-boggling.]