Greetings fellow Bizarros:

The next time your spouse or boyfriend does something really
stupid and you think you couldn’t have picked a worse partner,
remember that at least he (or she) never tried to sacrifice
you on an alter!

According to police, Oumar Lam’s 26-year-old girlfriend arrived
at their Queen Anne, Washington apartment to find him lying
naked on a couch near a candle-lit altar. The woman told police
she was seated on the bed when Lam attacked her from behind,
pulling a pillowcase over her head and attempting to suffocate
her.

Lam allegedly tried to cut the woman’s throat and inflicted
several knife wounds all while yelling in an unidentified
language.

Despite her wounds the woman was able to dial 911 and then fled
the apartment, pursued by a still-nude Lam. According to police
Lam dragged her back to the apartment. Fortunately the police
arrived soon after and confronted Lam who continued to chant
while being arrested.

The lesson to learn from this story is if you come home to find
your boyfriend naked in your apartment in front of an alter
covered in candles, don’t turn your back on him and relax on
the bed (unless you are dating a professional dungeon master).

Bizarrely,

Lewis

————————————————————

+————— Bizarre February Holidays —————-+

February 1 is Serpent Day

February 2 is Purification Day

February 3 is Cordova Ice Worm Day

February 4 is Create A Vacuum Day

February 5 is Disaster Day

February 6 is Lame Duck Day

February 7 is Charles Dickens Day

February 8 is Kite Flying Day

February 9 is Toothache Day

February 10 is Umbrella Day

More Coming Soon…

***

———– Couple on exhibit in free hotel room ———–

NEW YORK – A British couple visiting New York said they
have accepted a free five-star hotel room with one catch
– they will be watched by passersby through clear walls.
Duncan Malcolm and Katherine Lewis said the Roger Smith
Hotel, located in the heart of New York’s Manhattan
borough, told them they can stay for free in a replica
room built on the ground floor of a nearby building, with
the provision that the curtains on the floor-to-ceiling
windows are kept open between the hours of 4:30 p.m. and
7:30 p.m., Britain’s The Daily Telegraph reported. The
couple said the bedroom and the bathroom of the replica
hotel room are hidden from the view. They said they plan
to stay in the room for five days.

————————————————————
Set of 4 Micro Fiber Cleaning Cloths

Store Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $5.99
Get Two Packages (8 Cloths) for $9.98

These amazing cloth cleans dust, spills, or plain old dirt
with no soap or chemicals. It can absorb up to 7 times its
weight in liquid! Dry, this unique fiber sucks up dust
like a magnet. With a little water, it can scrub away grime
or shine glass and chrome. Each cloth measures 12 ½ X 12 ½.

You get a set of four in assorted bright colors. Made from
durable micro-fiber you can wash them over and over again!
They are super soft to avoid scratching of fine interior
trim pieces..

Additional Benefit you can save both money and the environ-
ment… No More Need For Paper Towels! No chemicals or
cleansers are needed for cleanups because super soft
microfibers loosen and absorb dirt.

Get one set (4 cloths) for $5.99 or get two sets (8 cloths
for $9.98. Get more details at: Set of 4 Micro Fiber Cleaning Cloths
————————————————————

——– Anniversary gift lottery ticket worth $10M ——–

ALBANY, N.Y. – A New York state woman’s last-minute
purchase of a lottery ticket as an anniversary present
for her husband proved to be worth $10 million. Patricia
Parsons, 52, bought the ticket Jan. 17 while she was
shopping at a supermarket in Elsmere in the Albany area,
Capital News 9 reported. It was a $20 Win For Life scratch-
off ticket. Parsons told the television station she did
not realize at first that she and her husband, Dan, had
won the big jackpot. She saw the word “life” and the
number 17. The couple has plans for their winnings —
paying off everything they owe, putting money aside for
their daughter’s college fund and traveling. Parsons works
as an administrative assistant for Albany County, while
her husband is a car salesman. “The ironic part of all of
this is the number we matched, 17, is also our anniversary
date as well as the day I bought the ticket,” Parsons told
WRGB-TV.

————– Signs warn of ‘zombies ahead’ —————

AUSTIN, Texas – Hackers got into computer-controlled road
signs in Austin, Texas, changing their warning from
construction to “zombies ahead.” Many drivers thought the
vandalism was a light-hearted prank — like Jane Shin, a
University of Texas student, who was with friends when she
saw the warning Sunday night. “I thought it was pretty
funny,” she told KXAN-TV. “We wondered who did it.” City
officials had a different take. Sara Hartley, a spokeswoman
for the public works department, said the pranksters had
to break into the sign to get at the computer inside,
cutting through a padlock, and then hack the computer to
change the message. The signs belong to the construction
company involved in the project. “Even though this may
seem amusing to a lot of people, this is really serious,
and it is a crime,” Hartley said. “And you can be indicted
for it, and we want to make sure our traffic on the road-
ways stays safe.” The zombie warning went away Monday
morning after a construction superintendent saw the signs
as he drove to work.

————————————————————
“I was a little surprised by this gift I got, but I
have to say, even after a year, it is still one of
my favorites.” – Bob

You too will love the Auto Seat Organizer. See why people
get one for themselves and a month later buy another one
as for a gift.

Containing multiple storage compartments and see-thru mesh
pockets, your car or truck will always be neat, tidy and
organized. See a picture of this or order (for just $7.99
or get two for $12.98 by visiting: Auto Seat Organizer
————————————————————

———– Escape attempt stopped by lamp post ————

HASTINGS , New Zealand – New Zealand authorities said a
lamp post and a pair of handcuffs foiled an escape attempt
by two prisoners from a courthouse. Security staff at
Hastings District Court on New Zealand’s North Island said
the two men ran from the courthouse but were stopped when
they attempted to run on either side of a lamp post,
apparently forgetting they were handcuffed together,
Britain’s The Daily Telegraph reported Thursday. “As they
were being led from the Hastings police cells… they made
a bolt for freedom,” Hastings police sergeant Dave Greig
said. “They fell over and they were sprayed with pepper
spray. But they got up and ran out of the court onto the
street, across the road to a car park,” he said. “That’s
where they met the pole — it was all over, rover.” Regan
Reti, 20, had been convicted prior to the escape attempt
of assault and sentenced to more than two years in jail.
He pleaded guilty to charges of escaping from custody and
a month was added to his prison sentence. Tiranara White,
21, who was jailed at the courthouse while awaiting trial
on charges of stealing a car and violating his parole
conditions, did not enter a plea for the escaping charge.
He remains in police custody awaiting a psych evaluation,
Greig said.

————————————————————
20 LED PIVOT LANTERN/DESK LAMP

Store Price: $19.99
OUR PRICE: $9.99 or get two for $15.98

This quality lantern will light up your workspace or any
room. Great for emergency or everyday use. Pivotal lamp
head directs light anywhere you need it. 20 Long-life LED
lights last for up to 100,000 hours. So versatile, you can
use it on a desk, for your backyard, workshop, camping,
outages and more.

******** Order one (1) for just $9.99 ********
**** SAVE $4.00 and get two (2) for $15.98 ****
** SAVE $6.00 and get three (3) for $23.97 **

To see a picture of this or to order, visit:
20 LED PIVOT LANTERN/DESK LAMP
————————————————————

Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here…F-R-E-E..
rBizarre Uncensored

————————————————————

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Can’t there be some way to eliminate idiots from the gene
pool? Someone PLEASE work on this. I’m referring to the
pyromaniacs clip. I can’t believe some people are really
that stupid! -Dawn
[Yes. It's called eugenics. Hitler was a big fan of it. But
I think we'd better leave it to Darwin.]

In reference to the ‘Fatmobile’, I have two words: ‘Soylent
Green,’ Keep up the good work. -Dave S.

The worst name I ever heard was a child names Shithead. The
parents were trying to name him Sh-theid, got the spelling
wrong. -Don

Lewis: President Obama is not half black! His father’s
birth certificate listed him as Arab and African Negro
(the latter is a term still used in parts of the world).
It is believed that Obama Senior is only 1/4 or 1/8 black,
making our President 1/8 or 1/16 black. Is this important?
No. I didn’t vote for the man, but I wish him well. Our
economy and country depend upon him right now. -Dave
[I'll agree with you there.]

Hey Lewis, I just wanted to thank Alison for voicing what
many of us have been thinking, please understand I am not
racist just curious. Why is everyone so excited about
having a “black” president, he is barely black. Honestly
he’s just another man. Get over it America! Thanks for
letting me vent! Love the newsletter! -Amanda