Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Since we have been discussing child discipline in Bizarre
News recently I found this story particularly timely and
appropriate.

An angry Deltona, Florida father whacked his teenage
daughter’s boyfriend with a metal pipe after finding the
boy naked in his daughter’s room. Authorities say the
father, 45, didn’t even know his daughter had a boyfriend
or that the youngster had been sneaking into the home for
more than a year.

When he heard noises coming from his daughter’s bedroom
early in the morning and saw a stranger standing naked on
the girl’s bed, he swung a metal pipe. He then chased the
teen out the front door and called police.

The boy was taken to the hospital where doctors closed a
head wound with staples.

The father was charged with aggravated battery on a child
and bonded out on $10,000.

Now that’s what I call discipline.

Bizarrely,

Lewis

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+——————— Bizarre List ———————-+
Interesting Facts Part 2

11. Dalmatians are born without spots.

12. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

13. The ‘v’ in the name of a court case does not stand for
‘versus’, but for ‘and’ (in civil proceedings) or
‘against’ (in criminal proceedings).

14. Men’s shirts have the buttons on the right, but women’s
shirts have the buttons on the left.

15. The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to
wink. All other birds raise their lower eyelids.

16. The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it’s
already been digested by a bee.

17. Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks.

18. The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the
brain to release calming hormones.

19. Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die.

20. Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make
room for your heart.

***

——- 11-month-old tips off grandma to trouble ———

BRAINTREE, England – The grandmother of a Braintree,
England, 11-month-old said the baby answered the phone
and alerted her to the fact that the child’s mother was
in trouble. Grandmother Linda Wight said she knew some-
thing was amiss when she phoned Elizabeth Boyle, 20, and
the cell phone was answered by Wright’s granddaughter,
Amelia, The Times of London reported. Wright said Amelia
tipped her off that something was wrong in the home by
asking, “Who’s this?” and repeatedly saying: “Mama.” The
grandmother phoned emergency services and Boyle awoke to
find police at her doorway. She said she had blacked out
in the hallway of her home. Boyle, who had a history of
passing out, was examined by paramedics, did not require
hospital treatment.

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LitterMaid Air Cleaner
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Get Two for $15.98

This is one of those deals that I am still amazed we got.
The retail on this is $29.99 and we’re selling it for
$9.99.

Yep, you read it correctly… $9.99. It’s the LitterMaid
Air Cleaner and I remember seeing these advertised in a
well-known catalog for $29.99 (I’ve actually seen it for
morein stores).

The LitterMaid Air Cleaner is a continuous fan that easily
attaches to the litter box. Its consistent action filters
odors to make the air around the litter box fresh and
clean. It is absolutely fragrance-free as it works to
absorb odor instead of masking.

It just needs to be clamped on the litter box and plugged
in to be able to operate it for 24 hours a day.

Grab one for $9.99 or get two for $15.98. One thing, this
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LitterMaid Air Cleaner</a>
————————————————————

——— Smelly messes lead to horse diapers ———–

MANCHESTER, England – Horses in the British town of
Blackpool are being forced to wear diapers to cut down on
smelly piles found throughout the area, public officials
say. Blackpool Council deputy head Ian Fowler said after
area carriage horses were blamed for the odorous deposits
in the town’s streets, officials mandated that carriage
operators keep their horses in diapers to obtain an
operator’s license, The Daily Telegraph said Thursday.
Yet Fowler warned operators of the carriages that many
have not properly fitted their animals with the mandated
“manure traps.” “There are, however, some owners who seem
not to have taken on board the spirit of what we are trying
to do in Blackpool, and who still insist on not fitting
the manure traps correctly,” the official in the county of
Lancashire said. Blackpool Landau Association officials
have defended a number of the manure-based discrepancies,
blaming the out-of-place traps on the carriage’s sudden
stops and starts at area traffic lights, the Telegraph
reported.

——- Montana man crashed bike into wild bear ——–

MISSOULA, Mont. – A 57-year-old man in Missoula, Mont.,
says he is lucky to be alive after accidentally crashing
his bicycle into the side of a wild bear. Middle school
teacher Jim Litz said he often sees bears during his daily
commute along a dirt road but he didn’t’ have time to avoid
one of the animals that wandered into his way Monday, The
(Missoula, Mont.) Missoulian said. “I didn’t have time to
respond. I never even hit my brakes,” Litz said. The
teacher said after the impact flipped him off his bike,
the bear began clawing at him, apparently in confusion and
anger. The attack left Litz with scratches and bruises over
most of his body. Litz said he was sore and a bit clawed
up, but lucky to have survived – and he holds no ill will
toward the animal. “I was truly lucky, because I accosted
the bear and he let me live,” he told the Missoulian. “I
truly respect them. They’re beautiful creatures.”

————————————————————
LAMP SENSORS
Never Come Home To A Dark House…

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Instantly turns any lamp into a home security system,
protecting your home and family. Easy to use electric eye
sensor simply screws into any light socket. Bulbs then
screw into the sensor. A sensor will automatically turn
your light on at dusk and off at daylight.

For use with 60W – 150W light bulbs. Set of 2.

One thing I want to point out is the only way this is
recommended for outside use is if your light fixture is
enclosed. Here are more details.

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————————————————————

—— Man bills Mich. city for bathroom cleaning ——-

SAUGATUCK, Mich. – A resident of Saugatuck, Mich., says
he should be financially compensated for cleaning public
bathrooms of his own accord. Businessman Steve Oswald
said while he independently chose to clean the city’s
public bathrooms after hearing multiple cleanliness
complaints from customers, the city should pay him for
the time he spent at the rest facilities, WZZM-TV, Grand
Rapids, reported Thursday. “I spent 45 minutes cleaning
the bathrooms,” said Oswald, who said public officials
were slow in his bathroom cleaning request in August.
“It’s a matter of principle,” Oswald told the city’s mayor
while handing over a bill for $156 a week later. “You guys
need to do your job properly.” Yet city officials have not
paid the bill for the unauthorized cleaning, but did
recognize that the public bathrooms had been in need of
maintenance. WZZM-TV said while those officials are
thankful for Oswald’s attempt to improve the tourist city,
they are concerned paying the bill would set an unwanted
precedent for similar incidents in the future.

————————————————————
Karada Cleansing/Detox Foot Pads

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Over 18 million foot patches are sold every month in Asia,
see what they can do for you. Japanese Detox Foot Patches
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an outrageous price… get them for 1/2 price while you
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The Karada Cleansing Foot Pads are made from bamboo vinegar,
an ingredient Japanese scientists have proven has the
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These foot patches are said to stimulate nerve endings
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————————————————————

Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural.  Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here…F-R-E-E..
<a href=” http://www.gophercentral.com/book/bizarre.html “>
Bizarre Uncensored</a>

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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Well I thought I “shotgunned” many times before, but never
using the “original” shotgun. Thanks for the education.
From an oldtimer.
[You're never too old to learn something new, in my opinion.]

I object to your use of the phrase “Does the Pope s–t in
the woods?”. Is that kind of remark necessary? Can’t you
make your point in a different way? -Frank
[I'm sorry. The Pope doesn't shit in the woods. A BEAR shits
in the woods. The Pope shits in the Vatican. A simple mistake.]

I’m surprised 90% weren’t using drugs! They were fresh out
of school, thrown into a war that wasn’t supported by the
American public, and fighting with no clear set goal laid
out. Take a hill one day then give it back the next. What
the hell is that? There were no parades when they came
home. That’s where the term, “Welcome home, brother!”
originated. They had to welcome their own back from the
war. To all the Vietnam vets, A Big Thanks! -Gene
[It is impossible to say with any kind of accuracy what
percentage of U.S. soldiers at the time were regular drug
users. If you used drugs more than a few times, but were
never caught, would you volunteer the information? The
number could very well have been close to 90 percent who
at least "experimented" with drugs. No one will ever know.]

What’s your opinion on the lipstick on a pig thing? Was he
being insulting with cover or did it just come out badly?
-John
[While it is an old expression there is no doubt in my mind
that he meant it exactly the way it came out. Even old,
veteran politicians let their tongues slip all of the time,
and B.O. is by no means steeped in experience. I have long
subscribed to the philosophy that it is better to remain
silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all
doubt, unfortunately, politicians can't afford to do that.]

Lewis, I just love your column.  You manage to say things
how they are while trying to sound like a dink, but I
think your honesty and candor are hilarious.  And when
people are just talking out of their ass, you give fact-
driven responses.  I don’t know if I read so much for the
“Bizarre News”, but for your responses to peoples comments,
lol.  Keep up the good work! -Jamie in Nova Scotia